Takahashi Ai’s Radio-graphy

(Translator’s note: No Japanese log this time.)

Notes

• 2004-10-09 「MBS YoungTown Doyoubi」 Official Site
• participants: Akashiya Sanma, Murakami Sho-ji, Tamai Kenji
• YanMusume: Fujimoto Miki (14th appearance), Takahashi Ai (19th appearance)

What’s the real reason for Mikitty’s absence? Playing golf and baseball with a bone fracture… In Mikitty’s solo radio show… “Boke lectureship returns!” with Fujimoto & Takahashi Sanma-san gets mad at Takahashi Ai in “Iyashitai”!? ~~from the YanDo staff message board~~

Digest

• Opening
  • Sanma talks about Bobby Ologun getting a black belt in Judo
  • Sanma talks about moments when he wasn’t treated like the big shot he is
• Listener mail corner (18′54”)
  • [Subject] Fujimoto took a break because of bad physical condition (19′03”)
    • Fujimoto was hospitalized and had a break of one week because of a tough cold
    • Sanma doesn’t believe that it was “only” a cold
  • [Subject] Takahashi served as a pinch hitter in Fujimoto’s radio show (32′59”)
    • Takahashi brought the Kona coffee she bought in Hawaii
    • lots of talk about Kona coffee with vanilla flavor =P
  • [Subject] Sanma used Fujimoto’s imitation of Setsuko in Athens (42′58”)
    • Sanma and Takahashi try to impersonate many different stars
  • [Subject] Fujimoto’s portrait of Sanma (48′34”)
    • Fujimoto shows the portrait of Sanma she drew in her radio show
• The “boke lectureship returns” corner (52′04”)
  • pattern: “Quietly peep into the school of killifish. All the killifish are XXXing.” (53′09”)
  • pattern: “Please let me take a break from YanDo.” (56′09”)
• Song: Tsunku with Takahashi Ai 「LOVE~since 1999~」 (60′39”)
• “Listener wo iyashitai” corner (63′01”)
  • [Takahashi]
    • 「Mou! If I say “Mou!” it means “Mou!”. I’ll turn into a cow if you don’t stop!」 (65′20”~)
    • 「Don’t look!」 (70′40”~)
  • [Fujimoto]
    • 「Hey… Why don’t you tell me?」 (68′24”~)
    • 「Darling, you really are an idiot~!」 (73′18”~)
• Karaoke Box 「Sanchama」 (75′34”)
  • 「Sanma Tomorrow never knows」 (parody of Mr.Children 「Tomorrow never knows」) Tamai sings it
• Ending (79′13”)
  • talk about how Fujimoto’s completely recovered now

Detailed description

[Please click here to download the whole episode as a mp3-file.]

Opening

• Sanma’s opening talk:
• Bobby easily got a black belt in judo
  • apparently famous judoka Koga Toshihiko trained him for a day
  • he’s going to try out K-1 by the end of the year too
  • he already had a special match against Royce Gracie, but Royce started bleeding from his face because of a weird elbow move by Bobby and most of the match wasn’t aired since the champion shouldn’t be bleeding in a show match against an amateur
  • getting him to fight against Bobby cost TBS a lot of money

Sanma:	Well, it costs money. It costs a lot of money. (4′58”)
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Like when you invite famous musicians to your show you’d have to rent a whole hotel floor.
Fujimoto:	Mmm…
Sanma:	Eh, Momusu hasn’t reached that level yet, huh?
Fujimoto:	Even if Morning Musume doesn’t rent a whole floor, we’d still need many rooms because we have so many members.
Sanma:	Then it’s almost like you rented a whole floor, huh?
Fujimoto:	Yes, it’s like we rented the whole thing. (lol)
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	But you’re still not at that level yet. Our Sanma-san is at a much higher level, right?
Fujimoto:	He rents a whole floor?
Sho-ji:	He even rented the room of a waitress!
Sanma:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	Wooow~
Sho-ji:	A room with an old crappy TV.
Fujimoto:	Eh, and that’s better?
Tamai:	The cushion had a cigarette hole.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh…
Sho-ji:	You have to go at least that far to be on the same level as him.
Tamai:	Yeah!
Sho-ji:	You’re still half-baked.
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	We’re still not there yet.
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Fujimoto:	Then we’ll do our best.

• when Sanma, Hazama Kanpei and Sho-ji checked into a hotel for a one night stay in Niigata, someone at the reception came running and offered Sanma “the best suite” of the hotel
  • but that person had mistaken the room number and Sanma got the room of a waitress (the size of about 6 tatami ~ 10 m², a little TV and waitress uniforms in the closet)
  • later when they were recording a TV show in the hotel, Sanma described the room he got when he heard Hazama and Sho-ji talk about how great their rooms are
  • after the recording, Sanma and the others left the hotel instead of staying over night, but that was a mistake because the person responsible for the mistake got a lot of trouble afterwards and Sanma still receives apology letters from the hotel and gifts (4 bottles of sake made of Niigata rice, ball-point pens and key chains with the name of the hotel)
  • Sho-ji says that he would have loved to stay because he was in a real suite
• other moments when Sanma wasn’t treated like the big shot he is:
  • when Sanma, Sho-ji and another comedian were asked “Hello! Are you construction workers?” by a MBS guard
  • when a couple didn’t recognize him and asked him to take a picture of them and gave him their camera
  • when someone who wanted to become Sanma’s disciple accidentally said “I’ll make you my disciple!” instead of “Can I become your disciple?”
  • when he kept ordering sake late in an inn, the old waitress got tired and just went home and Sanma waited for his sake all night long
• after working in show business for 30 years, Sanma’s the most recognized comedian in Japan (97.6% recognition rate), but there are still lots of people in isolated regions of Japan (like Hokkaido) who don’t recognize him

Sanma:	When I went to a store I know, they brought lots of dishes to me. “Please eat this steamed Matsutake soup.” and “Please eat this.” and so on. (13′42”)
Fujimoto:	Yes, yes.
Sanma:	I said “Thank you, thank you” and ate all of it, but it was all listed in the receipt in the end.
Tamai:	Hahahaha(lol)
Fuji/Taka:	Ehhhh?!
Fujimoto:	That’s crazy!
Takahashi:	That’s a crime, isn’t it?
Sho-ji:	It’s not a crime. (lol) It’s not a crime. They didn’t say it was for free.
Sanma:	(lol) They didn’t.
Takahashi:	Ah, I see.
Fujimoto:	Ehh…
Sanma:	When I said “Hey, it’s all listed in the receipt!!”, they answered “Come on, we know you have the money.”.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ehhhh~~
Sanma:	The store was in more need of money than I was. (lol) And they went bankrupt by now.
Takahashi:	I see.
Sanma:	Yeah. It was probably their last struggle against bankruptcy. “Let’s get all the money out of Sanma.” (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	They brought lots of stuff I didn’t order! I said “Thank you…”… It was all Matsutake dishes by the way. (lol)
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	While eating it I thought “It would cost me a lot of money if I had ordered all this…” and it really cost me a lot.
Takahashi:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ehhh…
Sho-ji:	Well, that happens to Sanma-san because people know that he’s got money. When I go to an expensive restaurant, I say this beforehand. “Tell me directly if you bring me something that costs more than 500 yen.”
Takahashi:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	I say it beforehand.
Tamai:	You’re quick!
Sho-ji:	I’m quick.
Fujimoto:	500 yen, huh… (lol)
Sho-ji:	It’s because I’m scared! (lol)
Sanma:	(lol) This guy isn’t joking. He’s really serious. Sometimes I’m scared of him.
Sho-ji:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	He makes weird accusations and demands melon service.
Takahashi:	Ohoho(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ehhh~
Sanma:	And it makes me look uncool. Asking stuff like “Don’t we get melon service?”. He asks that in the restaurant I often go to. “We’ve ordered so much, don’t we get melon service soon?”.
Sho-ji:	And you know? They really give you melon service then.
Takahashi:	Hahahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Unbelieveable, but true.
Fujimoto:	Heee~
Sho-ji:	Also when I ask “And you also give ice cream for free, right?”, they really give you ice cream for free.
Takahashi:	That’s amazing!
Sho-ji:	Isn’t it?
Sanma:	Sometimes he eats everything on his plate, licks it clean and says “You brought me this plate a while ago, but nothing was on it.”. And once he actually got another serving of the same dish!
Takahashi:	Ehhhhh~~!!
Fujimoto:	Amazing!
Takahashi:	But that’s a crime, isn’t it?
Sho-ji:	It’s not a crime.
Takahashi:	No way!!
Sho-ji:	Seriously. I’m serious.
Takahashi:	….
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Amazing…
Sanma:	It really happened.
Fujimoto:	And how did the waiter react?
Sanma:	He said “AH, I’M SO SORRY!”.
Takahashi:	Ehhh?!
Sanma:	And Sho-ji’s like “There wasn’t anything on the plate.”.
Takahashi:	Ehhhh?! (lol)
Sanma:	He wanted another serving because it was delicious.
Sho-ji:	It was. Also when I say “This is less than I had last time!”, they bring you more of it.

• the store “Jojoen Yugentei” Sanma often goes to changed it’s beer glasses and Sanma found out that the new beer glasses are smaller than the old ones even though the prize is still the same
  • after complaining about it, Sanma’s now the only customer who still gets beer in the old glass

Listener mail corner (18′54”)

first mail: Fujimoto took a break because of bad physical condition (19′03”)

from “Hakumai Ramen” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. Fujimoto Miki-san is in YanDo this week, but last week she couldn’t take part in several activities including the concerts due to bad physical condition… I’m glad that she’s healthy and back again. Last month she didn’t take part in the only Yantan she was supposed to appear in either. I think that was a mistake. What I mean is Nacchi who once appeared in Yando with a slight cold felt a lot better in the ending and said “I feel like I’ve completely recovered.”. That’s right. The talk in Yantan is a medicine that works better than any medicine in the world. And Sanma-san liked her voice which was hoarse due to the cold and it gave her an advantage in the Iyashitai corner. If you should become sick in the future, please try to endure it and appear in Yando.

 

Sanma:	Listener mail corner!!
Everyone:	Yaaay!
Sanma:	This is from “Hyakumai ramen” in Hyougo prefecture.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Eh… “Everyone at YanDo, good evening.”
Everyone:	Good evening.
Sanma:	“Fujimoto Miki-san is in YanDo this week, but last week she couldn’t take part in several activities including the concerts due to bad physical condition…”
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Oh! Bad physical condition?!
Sho-ji:	It was in the newspapers!
Sanma:	No way! It was in the papers?
Sho-ji:	It was in the newspapers!
Fujimoto:	Yes. Yes, I’m sorry.
Sanma:	Why… You should have told us! Well, you don’t have to apologize, but…
Fujimoto:	I… I couldn’t come to one Yantan recording either.
Sanma:	You couldn’t?
Fujimoto:	I couldn’t.
Sho-ji:	As mentioned in the mail.
Sanma:	As mentioned in the mail… Ah, right, Nacchi was here all alone.
Takahashi:	I was here too!
Sanma:	You were not.
Takahashi:	I was here!!
Sanma:	We’re talking about last week’s recording, right?
Takahashi:	No, the week before last.
Sanma:	Yes, you were here the week before last.
Takahashi:	….I was, right?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	But last week, Nacchi was here alone.
Takahashi:	Ah…
Sanma:	At that time…
Takahashi:	At that time, Miki-chan was already back.
Fujimoto:	I was already back. Aichan and I always come here together and Aichan probably came alone once.
Sanma:	Ahh… I see, I see.
Fujimoto:	That was when I couldn’t come.
Sanma:	Why? What was the reason? Some kind of a mental problem?
Fujimoto:	(lol) No, no, I just had a cold… Seems like I had the cold virus and my fever wouldn’t go down for a week.
Sanma:	It’s because you live an easy life.
Fujimoto:	I don’t~!!
Sanma:	You lack fighting spirit! Normally you don’t simply catch a cold during work!
Fujimoto:	But I did…
Sanma:	It only happened because you’re spoiled and have an easy life!
Fujimoto:	…. (lol)
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Why’s that?!
Sho-ji:	Eat oranges and run towards the sun!
Sanma:	Run towards the sun! Climb to a high place! Somewhere closer to the sun.
Everyone:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	There should be high places in your neighborhood.
Sanma:	“Neighborhood” (lol)
Sho-ji:	Places you could climb on.
Fujimoto:	There aren’t…
Sanma:	That way you’d never catch a cold. Eat oranges all the time!
Fujimoto:	Ehhh… Why oranges?
Sanma:	Because of the vitamin C! You caught a cold because you don’t get enough vitamin C!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	And you lack fighting spirit.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh~?! It’s not like that…
Sho-ji:	Cold virus, huh? Was it a tough cold?
Fujimoto:	Yeah… The fever wouldn’t go down, even after an intravenous drip. I had about 39° all the time.
Sanma:	I see… A lot of people catch a cold at this time of year, in this season… in fall, huh?
Fujimoto:	Yes. And I also got something like an inflammation of the middle ear. The fever went down, but the doctor said I can’t travel by airplane or bullet train, so I couldn’t take part in the concert.
Sanma:	Haa… Has your body always been weak?
Fujimoto:	No, not at all! This was the first time.
Sanma:	Haaa… I see.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	We still don’t know if you really caught a cold though.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol) It was a cold!!
Takahashi:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Maybe you just wanted a few days off.
Sanma:	Maybe you just wanted to rest a bit.
Tamai:	That’s right.
Fujimoto:	It was a cold, a cold.
Sanma:	You can’t believe it when a star says she was sick.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	Ah, is that so?
Sanma:	Yeah. You can’t believe them.
Fujimoto:	It was a cold.
Sho-ji:	Didn’t you just get sick of it all?
Sanma:	Yeah, yeah!
Takahashi:	Is that true?
Sanma:	I bet it is.
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Sanma:	Maybe you got into trouble because of some guy.
Tamai:	Ah, that could be.
Fujimoto:	Well, there really are many weird, wrong rumors about it.
Sanma:	See? There are many rumors. That’s right, Sho-ji and I will spread weird rumors about you now.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Why do you take that side?!
Takahashi:	Ahahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s funnier that way.
Fujimoto:	(lol) It doesn’t have to be funny!!
Sanma:	Weird rumors are fun. You stupid or what?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Of course it would be right to believe that it was a cold and worry about you, but what’s fun about that?
Fujimoto:	It WAS a cold…
Sanma:	It’s more fun to laugh in your face. HAHA!
Fujimoto:	(lol) We don’t need that! Why?
Sanma:	Like “Come to think of it…”… That would be more fun.
Sho-ji:	Something must have happened.
Sanma:	Yeah, something happened.
Fujimoto:	It was a cold, a cold.
Sanma:	Ehh… No, no.
Fujimoto:	Why not?! (LOL)
Sanma:	Well, there are many fun things she could do at this age.
Tamai:	Yeah, there are…
Fujimoto:	What fun things?
Sho-ji:	How old are you again?
Fujimoto:	I’m 19.
Sho-ji:	Ahh… *sigh*
Sanma:	The most extreme time.
Sho-ji:	The most extreme time…
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Most extreme as in what?
Sanma:	19 is the time when you wear yourself out the most with relationships with the other sex.
Fujimoto:	I wouldn’t!
Sho-ji:	Having a fever is a part of love and relationships, you know?
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Tamai:	Ah, that kind of “fever”, huh? Ararara.
Takahashi:	Ahhh~
Fujimoto:	It’s not like that.
Tamai:	That kind of fever doesn’t go down easily.
Fujimoto:	No, it was a fever that could be measured by a thermometer.
Sanma:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	I could measure it with a thermometer.
Sanma:	Nah, I bet something happened.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Nothing happened!
Sanma:	Many different rumors come up when you go missing for a week, right?
Fujimoto:	That’s right… Yes.
Sanma:	That’s how it is. If it was 3 months, lots of rumors would get spread.
Fujimoto:	Right.
Sho-ji:	By the way, who came to visit you when you were sick?
Fujimoto:	Eh… The members didn’t come.
Sho-ji:	They didn’t?
Fujimoto:	No.
Sho-ji:	Are they all coldhearted? Could it be that they don’t like you?
Fujimoto:	…that could be…
Sho-ji:	That’s gotta be it! Normally they’d come visit a sick member!
Takahashi:	It’s not like that! Didn’t I send you a mail?!
Sanma:	Even though it was a bother I visited Sho-ji when he was sick.
Sho-ji:	He did! He came and laughed in my face.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	He came, saw me and my ankle and laughed his ass off.
Sanma:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	And hurt me mentally too.
Takahashi:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Hehehe(lol) Seriously.
Fujimoto:	Ah, but yeah, I received mails.
Sho-ji:	And he asked me out to play golf even though I was still in plaster.

• Sho-ji talks about how he suffered playing golf with his ankle in plaster
• when he injured his ankle, Sanma brought him to the hospital, but all the nurses surrounded Sanma and didn’t pay any attention to Sho-ji at first

Sanma:	Then the doctor said “Then I’ll put pressure on your ankle. Murakami-san, are you ready?”. Sho-ji: “Ouch, ouch, ouch!”. Doctor: “Please tell me if something hurts.” Sho-ji: “The hospitalization fee hurts…” (08′17”)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	That’s what hurt him the most.
Sho-ji:	Then Sanma-san said “Are you stupid or what? I’ll pay the hospitalization fee for you! But Doc, look at his foot! It’s turned completely white!”. Doctor: “That’s his sock. His sock.”
Everyone:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	The doctor pointed to my sock.
Takahashi:	(ROFL) Funny…
Sho-ji:	I only thought “Why doesn’t he go home already…”
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Seriously… He came even closer than the doctor and looked at my foot. He was only in the way for the doctor!
Takahashi:	Hahaha(lol) That’s hilarious…
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	That’s what happened…
Fujimoto:	“That’s his sock. His sock.” (lol)
Sanma:	Well, even if someone comes to visit you when you’re sick, that’s how it usually turns out.
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Sho-ji:	It doesn’t make you happy.
Fujimoto:	Then you think “It’d have been better if he hadn’t come.”
Sho-ji:	Right, right.
Fujimoto:	But I received mails!
Sanma:	From Aichan?
Fujimoto:	From all members.
Sanma:	Oh, what did the mails say?
Fujimoto:	Things like “Are you ok?”.
Sanma:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	She didn’t reply.
Sanma:	Why the… Why didn’t you reply?
Fujimoto:	(lol) Well, I sent many mails to the members saying “I’m sorry” and I also sent my apologies to the members of Country Musume we had concert with. But I didn’t reply Aichan’s mail… (lol)
Sanma:	You didn’t get to reply Aichan’s mail?
Fujimoto:	I think I haven’t replied to any of the mails I received. (lol)
Sho-ji:	Were you in a 6-person room in the hospital?
Fujimoto:	No, in a single room.
Sanma:	Isn’t that to be expected?
Sho-ji:	(lol) Not a 6-person room? A single room?!
Tamai:	A star in a 6-person room? (lol)
Sanma:	She’s famous, you know?
Fujimoto:	I was in a private room.
Sho-ji:	Seriously?
Sanma:	Of course. You’re the only one who gets a 6-person room.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	But when Jimmy came to visit me in the hospital and I came back from the toilet, I found him sleeping in my bed.
Everyone:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	When I came back from the toilet, he was lying there snoring.
Fujimoto:	Heee~
Sho-ji:	Jimmy sleeping in my bed.
Fujimoto:	And what did you do?
Sho-ji:	I didn’t want to wake him up, so I kept reading a book next to the bed all the time.
Takahashi:	Ehhhh! You didn’t wake him up?!
Fujimoto:	So kind! So kind!
Sanma:	(lol) Our group is so… messed up.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s sad that we don’t act like that on purpose. We’re just like that.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	(continues to read the mail) “I’m glad that she’s healthy and back again. Last month she didn’t take part in the only Yantan she was supposed to appear in either.”
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	“I think that was a mistake. What I mean is Nacchi who once appeared in Yando with a slight cold felt a lot better in the ending and said “I feel like I’ve completely recovered.”. That’s right. The talk in Yantan is a medicine that works better than any medicine in the world. And Sanma-san liked her voice which was hoarse due to the cold and it gave her an advantage in the Iyashitai corner.”
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	“If you should become sick in the future, please try to endure it and appear in Yando.” it says.
Sho-ji:	Ahh…
Sanma:	If you take part in an energetic show like this, something like a cold gets cured.
Fujimoto:	You’re right.
Sanma:	Yeah, yeah. That’s how it is. I’d say it’s because you lack fighting spirit.
Fujimoto:	No, no, I’m totally fired up. (lol)
Sanma:	Then it’s because you lack fighting spirit in your private life. You might be doing your best at work, but you’re not fired up in other matters, are you?
Fujimoto:	I am!
Sanma:	No, you’re not! That’s why you caught a cold. And for a whole week too!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	It’s unusual to catch a cold during a concert tour! I’d understand it if you caught one after the tour.
Fujimoto:	Well… I was surprised myself.
Sanma:	See? Something must have happened.
Fujimoto:	(lol) What happened?
Sho-ji:	If it was during a concert tour, you should have said that you want to go on stage despite the cold.
Sanma:	Right, right, despite the cold.
Fujimoto:	Ah, I took part in a concert.
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	You did?
Fujimoto:	I took part in one, but my fever only worsened on the next day and I was sent back.
Sanma:	Haaa… And you even got hospitalized, right?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Was it tough for you? You want someone beside you at such times, right?
Fujimoto:	That’s right. My mom came to visit me.
Sanma:	Your mother came to you? Because of your cold?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Poor mother.
Fujimoto:	Hehehe(lol)
Sanma:	Don’t call for your mother because of a little cold!
Fujimoto:	But maybe she wanted to come.
Sanma:	No way she wanted to come!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Such a spoiled child. No one comes to visit me when I catch a cold.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Fujimoto:	I’m sure lots of people would come to visit you.
Sanma:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	Lots of people.
Sanma:	Even if they would, I never get sick anyway.
Tamai:	That’s right.
Fujimoto:	Heee~ That’s amazing.
Sanma:	I never got to feel the kindness of others.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	No one’s ever visited you in the hospital, right?
Sanma:	Right. I’ve never even once been asked “Are you ok?”.
Takahashi:	Hmmm~
Sanma:	Not even once in my life.
Sho-ji:	Though Sanma-san never admits when he’s sick. Even when his nose is running.
Sanma:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Sho-ji: “Did you catch a cold?” Sanma: “No, you idiot!!” Sho-ji: “But your nose…” Sanma: “This is not a cold!!”
Everyone:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	He’d never admit it. (lol)
Fujimoto:	Hmm… So he might have had a cold at that time.
Sho-ji:	No, no. He never catches a cold.
Sanma:	Well, sometimes it seems like I caught a cold, but I’m fine again after half a day.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh…
Sanma:	You never see me sick in this show, do you?
Fujimoto:	You’re right.
Sanma:	When I catch a cold, it’s already cured the next day. I’ve never had a cold for two days.
Fuji/Taka:	Ehhh~
Sho-ji:	And if I’m not mistaken, you never take medicine either.
Sanma:	I don’t, I don’t.
Sho-ji:	Since you never take medicine, one swallow of it should be enough to cure you, huh?
Sanma:	Yes, directly. In the worst case, I drink a bit of jikinin. Jikinin for infants.
Takahashi:	Ahhh! I drink that too!
Sanma:	One bottle of it.
Takahashi:	Yeah!

• Sanma always buys one bottle of jikinin every year because he’s scared of catching a cold, but he has to throw it away in the end because he didn’t catch a cold after all
• even though it’s “jikinin for infants”, adults can drink it too (adults: 1 bottle, children: 1/3 of a bottle)

second mail: Takahashi served as a pinch hitter in Fujimoto’s radio show (32′59”)

from “Hairi to Kyotaka” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. When Mikitty took a break because of bad physical condition, Takahashi Ai-chan served as a pinch hitter in Mikitty’s radio show the other day. Presenting a radio show on her own for the first time, Aichan started off very enthusiastically, but she was surprisingly good at talking and she seemed completely different compared to Aichan in YanDo who doesn’t say anything else but “Yes.” or “I’m sorry.”. Could this change be thanks to Sanma-san’s strict coaching in Yantan? Aichan, please demonstrate your skills today.

• Takahashi Ai served as a pinch-hitter in Mikitty’s “DokiMiki Night” on September 20th, 2004

Sanma:	Ehh… This is from “Hairi to Kyotaka”. “Everyone at YanDo, good evening.”
Everyone:	Good evening!
Sanma:	“When Mikitty took a break because of bad physical condition, Takahashi Ai-chan served as a pinch hitter in Mikitty’s radio show the other day.”
Takahashi:	Yes!
Sanma:	“Presenting a radio show on her own for the first time, Aichan started off very enthusiastically, but she was surprisingly good at talking…”
Takahashi:	Uhh!
Fujimoto:	Uooh!
Sanma:	“…and she seemed completely different compared to Aichan in YanDo who doesn’t say anything else but “Yes.” or “I’m sorry.”.”
Takahashi:	Ara…
Sanma:	“Could that change be thanks to Sanma-san’s strict coaching in Yantan? Aichan, please demonstrate your skills today.”
Takahashi:	Yes!
Sanma:	Looks like you were quite a good pinch hitter for Mikitty.
Sho-ji:	So she plays a different character here, huh?
Sanma:	She’s probably a very calculating woman.
Takahashi:	NO WAY!!!
Tamai:	Uwaa!
Sho-ji:	Excellent!
Takahashi:	Do I really calculate everything?!
Sanma:	I bet you do. Normally you can speak on and on like a waterfall, but here…
Takahashi:	Ehhhh…
Sanma:	Well, the mail says that it was good.
Takahashi:	Ah! Right, right, right!
Sanma:	What is it?
Takahashi:	I brought the coffee.
Sho-ji:	Wha-…
Fujimoto:	(lol) She changed the topic.
	(Takahashi hands over a can of Kona coffee to Sanma)
Sanma:	Ohh, this is it, this is it!
Takahashi:	Is this vanilla flavor?
Sanma:	Kona coffee with vanilla flavor!
	(Takahashi hands over a can of Kona coffee to Sho-ji)
Sho-ji:	What’s with this? Eh? What’s with this?
Takahashi:	It’s from Hawaii.
Sanma:	Sho-ji, you don’t like this coffee, do you?
Sho-ji:	No, I like it.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol) Why did you just try to take away Sho-ji-san’s?
Tamai:	It says “100% Kona”.
Sho-ji:	Uwaa! What’s with this?
Sanma:	(lol) Give me! Give me! Give me!
Fujimoto:	So there’s Kona coffee with vanilla flavor…
Takahashi:	Is this vanilla flavor?
Sanma:	Well, vanilla flavor is the best. There are many Kona coffee flavors…
Fujimoto:	Eh, even something like vanilla flavor?
Sho-ji:	How do you drink this? Can you just put it into a cup like this?
Sanma:	(lol) No, you can’t.
Sho-ji:	Eh? How do you drink this?
Sanma:	You gotta put it on.
Sho-ji:	Where do I put it on?
Sanma:	(lol) Put it on the oden… Are you stupid?!
Sho-ji:	Hehehe(lol) No, I’m serious. How do I drink this?
Sanma:	I meant “put on the coffee”. (lol)
Takahashi:	Is this the right flavor?
Sho-ji:	What? How?
Sanma:	Look, don’t you have a coffee maker at home?
Sho-ji:	No…
Sanma:	(to Takahashi) Yes, this is the right one.
Takahashi:	This is the right one?
Sho-ji:	I got a juice mixer though.
Sanma:	No… (lol)
Takahashi:	Haha(lol) Mixer?!
Fujimoto:	You’re not supposed to mix it! (lol)
Sho-ji:	Can’t you put it into a mixer?
Takahashi:	You can’t!
Sanma:	Sho-ji, don’t you have those cup coffee makers?
Sho-ji:	No, I don’t.
Sanma:	The ones where you put the coffee grounds on top?
Sho-ji:	No, I don’t have one.
Sanma:	Then do you have that one where you only have to pour hot water into it… and it has this thing on top…
Sho-ji:	Cup ramen?
Sanma:	“Cup ramen” (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Then what do you mean? You only pour hot water into it?
Sanma:	Umm… You only drink instant ones, right? Instant coffee?
Sho-ji:	Yes, that’s right. You just pour the coffee into the cup and…
Fujimoto:	…and stir it.
Sanma:	Ah, do you have a tea strainer?
Sho-ji:	I don’t have one.
Sanma:	Ah, then it’s no good.
Sho-ji:	Can I borrow yours?
Sanma:	Haha(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol) Right, right.
Sanma:	(lol) Why the hell… At least buy a tea strainer yourself!
Takahashi:	“Can I borrow yours?” (lol)
Fujimoto:	“Can I borrow yours?”.. Cute! That was cute!
Takahashi:	“Can I borrow yours?” (lol)
Sanma:	Then you should…
Sho-ji:	Ah, then it’s okay. You take it.
Takahashi:	Eh? So you don’t need it?
Sho-ji:	No, I’ll give it to Sanma-san…
Takahashi:	Then uhh…
Sho-ji:	I’ll make it a present to Sanma-san. Sanma-san always drinks this kind of coffee.
Takahashi:	Oh, I see.
Sanma:	The only coffee I can drink is Kona coffee with vanilla flavor.
Takahashi:	Then you won’t drink this one, huh?
Sanma:	No, I’ll drink this one.
Takahashi:	Ah, really?
Sanma:	I drink this five times a day.
Takahashi:	But that’s not vanilla flavor.
Sanma:	…this is not vanilla flavor?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Eh? Why?
Takahashi:	Eh? Is this vanilla flavor?
Sanma:	Eh… It isn’t?
Sho-ji:	What is it then?
Takahashi:	Eh, I don’t know. (lol)
Sanma:	Isn’t it written on it?
Takahashi:	I have no idea!
Sho-ji:	“Kona”… It says “Kona”.
Sanma:	Ah, then… Can I open it?
Takahashi:	Of course.
Sho-ji:	So it isn’t vanilla flavor?
Sanma:	I’ll know when I take a smell at it.
Takahashi:	And what if it isn’t vanilla flavor?
Sho-ji:	Eh, Takahashi, where did you go to? Did you go to Hawaii?
Takahashi:	I was… in Hawaii and…
Fujimoto:	Because of work.
Sho-ji:	Eh, alone?
Fujimoto:	No, Morning Musume went to a fanclub event there.
Sho-ji:	Ah, you did?
Takahashi:	Yes. And at that time… I bought Kona coffee.
Sho-ji:	Yeah… How admirable!
Sanma:	I’ll open it, ok?
Sho-ji:	Is it a different flavor?
Sanma:	It’s different. This is a different one.
Takahashi:	Ara!
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	EHH?! YOU DON’T NEED IT~~?!
Sanma:	(lol) I don’t need it.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s not the flavor I like.
Tamai:	It doesn’t say anything about “vanilla flavor”.
Sanma:	This one has a bitter flavor. This is a bitter one.
Takahashi:	Eh, but… Eh…
Sanma:	You could give it to someone.
Sho-ji:	No… (lol) You already opened it! (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	You’re saying she should give it to someone, but you already opened it.
Fujimoto:	Yeah, really!
Sho-ji:	It’s the same as when you already had half of it! Seriously.
Takahashi:	What do I do with this now?
Sanma:	You drink it.
Takahashi:	Ueah?
Sho-ji:	Do you like coffee, Takahashi?
Takahashi:	I don’t drink coffee!
Sanma:	Then just put it somewhere as decoration.
Takahashi:	Ehh?!
Sanma:	Don’t you smoke?
Takahashi:	I don’t!
Sanma:	Ah, I see… You know what? You could put it all into an ashtray and then…
Takahashi:	That’d be a waste!!
Sanma:	But you won’t drink it anyway!
Takahashi:	Ahh, that’s right… But I bought it to make it a present to you!
Sanma:	Yeah… Well, I’m thankful for that… I know! You could put it near an open fire. Then when it burns, the smell of coffee fills the air.
Sho-ji:	Oh, that’s nice!
Sanma:	Yeah!
Sho-ji:	Then it’s like an incense.
Sanma:	Right, right. I always do that with the coffee I don’t drink and… I’ll do it with this too.
Takahashi:	Ok.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s a pain in the ass for you to take it back with you, right? You won’t drink it anyway.
Takahashi:	Here you go.
Sanma:	Yeah…
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	Yeah… This one has bitter flavor. But this isn’t bad coffee. There are lots of people who like this sort.
Fujimoto:	You like coffee that’s not bitter?
Sanma:	I like vanilla flavor, the really sweet one.
Sho-ji:	I think I’ll try drinking it once too.
Sanma:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	Please do so.
Fujimoto:	With a tea strainer…
Takahashi:	You have to use a tea strainer…
Sho-ji:	Can I buy one? (he said it like “Can I borrow yours?”)
Everyone:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Please buy one.
Sho-ji:	Can I?
Fujimoto:	Please buy a tea strainer.
Sho-ji:	And a tea strainer would be enough?
Takahashi:	Does it work with a tea strainer?
Sanma:	You’d have to do it a couple of times with a tea strainer.
Tamai:	You’ll need filters. The paper ones.
Fujimoto:	It’d be best if you buy filters.
Sho-ji:	Oh, there’s something like that too?
Tamai:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	There is, there is.
Sanma:	It’d be best if you buy filters, but… you could make coffee the fastest with a coffee maker.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Yeah, there are cheap coffee makers too.
Tamai:	Yes, a few thousand yen only.
Sanma:	But judging from the way Sho-ji thinks, it’d be best if you just buy those instant paper coffee filters you can use instead of a tea strainer.
Sho-ji:	I understand. Then I’ll buy those.
Sanma:	Sho-ji, this is not the coffee you like. This one is bitter coffee, you know?
Sho-ji:	But I’ve been drinking only black coffee lately.
Sanma:	Ah! Then you’ll like this one!
Tamai:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	Really? I’ll like it, huh?
Sanma:	Yeah, this is pretty bitter too. You’ll know when you drink it. It’s cultivated in a soil which consists of volcanic ash… solidified lava.
Fujimoto:	Is that so?
Sho-ji:	That doesn’t tell me much since I don’t know how lava tastes…
Takahashi:	I don’t know either.
Sho-ji:	Does it smell like lava?
Sanma:	Well… lava-like. Lava-like. A special flavor.
Tamai:	(lol) “Lava-like” (lol)
Sho-ji:	If it tastes like lava, then I don’t need this.
Takahashi:	You don’t need it?!
Sanma:	Murakami-san, it’s hot. It’s hot.
Sho-ji:	(lol) Thank you for this.
Takahashi:	You’re welcome, you’re welcome.
Sanma:	Yeah… Coffee cultivated in volcanic regions like Kona coffee are famous.
Sho-ji:	There are lots of different Kona flavors, huh? Even vanilla flavor.
Sanma:	That’s right.
Fujimoto:	There’s a Kona coffee tree in Hawaii that belongs to me.
Takahashi:	Really?!
Sanma:	You mean it belongs to the chairman?
Fujimoto:	No, to me. I planted it myself.
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	It belongs to the chairman, doesn’t it?
Fujimoto:	No, I planted it under my name “Fujimoto Miki”.
Sanma:	But the chairman did it for you, right?
Sho-ji:	You bought the land too?
Sanma:	Yeah, yeah, the chairman bought land there.
Fujimoto:	Ahh… Not there. It was when I went to Hawaii for a photobook dvd shoot before I joined Morning Musume. I planted a tree under my name “Fujimoto Miki” and they said they would send me the Kona coffee in about 2 years.
Sanma:	Ah, is that so?
Fujimoto:	I think you can plant your own private tree there.
Sanma:	Ah, so there’s a place like that in Hawaii…
Takahashi:	I see…
Sanma:	Last year I went to a Doutor coffee shop in Hawaii.
Fujimoto:	Ah, yes, yes.
Sanma:	Even though it said doutor coffee, they served coffee handmade by an old woman. And wow, it was delicious. It had a flavor only that old woman could make. Though I don’t know how she did it.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Umm… Fujimoto, when you get the coffee from your tree in Hawaii… give me.
Fujimoto:	(lol) But it’s not vanilla flavor though.
Sanma:	…what flavor is it?
Fujimoto:	I think it’s a different flavor…
Sho-ji:	But how do you get coffee with vanilla flavor? Do they add vanilla flavor during the production?
Fujimoto:	I wonder how they do it…
Sanma:	I think it depends on the tree and the type of beans.
Fujimoto:	Probably the type of beans.
Sanma:	The sweetness probably depends on the type of beans.
Fujimoto:	Mmm…
Sanma:	When you drink it as iced coffee at daybreak… it’s the best.
Tamai:	“Iced coffee at daybreak” (lol)
Sanma:	No coffee shop could ever beat that taste. If there was a coffee shop with iced Kona coffee with vanilla flavor, I think it would even beat Starbucks.
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	Is it that sweet?
Sanma:	It’s sweet. Moderately sweet.
Fujimoto:	Eh? Don’t you add sugar or anything?
Sanma:	I do. When I got bitter coffee like this, I additionally buy caramel syrup. Then I make iced coffee out of it, add caramel syrup, milk and it tastes like Kona coffee with vanilla flavor.
Fujimoto:	Heee… amazing… I didn’t know that.
Takahashi:	Me neither.
Sanma:	Yeah. And Takahashi went through the trouble of buying Kona coffee for me.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Did you buy it because you knew that Akashiya Sanma likes Kona coffee?
Takahashi:	No, I didn’t.
Sanma:	So it’s a coincidence?
Takahashi:	No, I had bought Kona coffee in Hawaii, but hadn’t given it to anyone yet. And when I heard that you like Kona coffee, I brought it with me.
Sanma:	Ah, so you bought it a long time ago?
Takahashi:	No, I bought it in August.
Sho-ji:	In August… (lol)
Sanma:	(lol) In August, huh?
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sanma:	Ah, last time you were like “Ahh!” when I talked about Kona coffee.
Takahashi:	I did.
Sanma:	(lol) Right, right, right…
Takahashi:	You said there was 10% Kona coffee too, right?
Sanma:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	But I brought the 100% one for you.
Sanma:	Hehehe(lol)
Sho-ji:	Ohhh… How admirable.
Sanma:	100% Kona coffee… I’ll try drinking it. I wonder how it tastes.
Takahashi:	I’m glad.
Sanma:	You bought this at the airport, right?
Takahashi:	No, not there!!
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	I bought it in a real… supermarket-like place.
Everyone:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	You went there?
Takahashi:	We did!
Fujimoto:	We went there in our free time.
Sho-ji:	Heee… How admirable.
Takahashi:	It was a really huge building.
Sanma:	So it’s not like you bought it in a coffee shop, huh?
Takahashi:	Not in a coffee shop, but… in something like a… coffee… corner.
Everyone:	Haha(lol)

third mail: Sanma used Fujimoto’s imitation of Setsuko in Athens (42′58”)

from “Red Eye” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. It’s been a while since the Olympic Games in Athens ended, but I think the most striking moment for YanDo listeners was when Shibata Ai won gold medal. That’s because Sanma-san was wearing racing swimwear when he invited Shibata-san into the studio. Furthermore he kept shouting a phrase that included “pichipichi ya nen“, Mikitty’s impersonation of Setsuko. Sanma-san doing Mikitty’s impersonation… Does that mean that Sanma-san thought of Mikitty when he was in Athens?

 

Sanma:	This is from “Red Eye”. “Everyone at YanDo, good evening.”.
Everyone:	Good evening!
Sanma:	“It’s been a while since the Olympic Games in Athens ended, but I think the most striking moment for YanDo listeners was when Shibata Ai won gold medal. That’s because Sanma-san was wearing racing swimwear when he invited Shibata-san into the studio. Furthermore he kept shouting a phrase that included ‘pichipichi ya nen’, Mikitty’s impersonation of Setsuko.”
Everyone:	(lol)
Sanma:	“Sanma-san doing Mikitty’s impersonation… Does that mean that Sanma-san thought of Mikitty when he was in Athens?”.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	You know… I put on a real women’s racing swimwear. And it really… felt so awkward that I said “pichipichi ya nen~”. And I did remember Fujimoto when I said that.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Ah, really?! Yaaaay! (applause)
Sanma:	“Pichipichi ya nen~!”
Sho-ji:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	And they liked it! “Pichipichi ya nen~” “Setsuko pichipichi ya nen~“
Fujimoto:	“Onaka pichipichi ya nen~“
Sanma:	But that time, I said “Kokan pichipichi ya nen~“!
Fujimoto:	(lol) I don’t like that~~~!!
Takahashi:	Iyaa….. >_>
Sanma:	Let’s change it to “my crotch”! Change it!
Fujimoto:	I won’t change it! (lol)
Tamai:	“Change it” (lol)
Sho-ji:	She won’t change it!
Sanma:	(lol) Can’t you change it?
Sho-ji:	She won’t change it!
Fujimoto:	(lol) Why did you change the line?
Sanma:	Like I said, my crotch felt weird at that time, so I said “Kokan pichipichi ya nen~!” and it seems like Shiba-san found it funny. “Pichipichi ya nen~”
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	Well, it’s a joke where you don’t know if the guests will laugh.
Fujimoto:	Ahh… That’s right, huh?
	…
Sanma:	“Pichipichi ya nen~”… How did it go again?
Fujimoto:	“Niichan, onaka pichipichi ya nen~!“
Sanma:	(lol) That’s it.
Takahashi:	So good!
Sanma:	Her “pichipichi ya nen” is good.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	And you’re good at impersonating Mikawa Ken’ichi, aren’t you?
Takahashi:	Eh?
Sanma:	Mikawa Ken’ichi.
Takahashi:	(imitates Mikawa Ken’ichi)
Everyone:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	You’re good!
Fujimoto:	I love it.
Sho-ji:	Takahashi, you’re good!
Takahashi:	It’s not a voice imitation though…
Sanma:	It’s kinda sad because this is a radio show.
Takahashi:	That’s right…
Sho-ji:	That looked like him!
Takahashi:	It’s not an imitation of his voice…
Sanma:	Now I feel like stealing Shimizu Michiko’s impersonation of Kikukawa Rei. “I’m Kikukawa Rei…”.. It doesn’t sound like her, huh?
Fujimoto:	Ehh, I don’t know…
Takahashi:	I don’t know…
Sanma:	“I’m Kikukawa Rei…”
Fujimoto:	It probably doesn’t sound like her. (lol)
Sanma:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”. This doesn’t sound like her either, huh?
Takahashi:	Ahaha(lol)!
Sho-ji:	Who’s that supposed to be?
Sanma:	(lol) Didn’t I just say “I’m Yamaguchi Moe”?
Sho-ji:	I don’t recognize it. Even if you say that, I don’t recognize it.
Sanma:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”
Sho-ji:	Who’s that supposed to be?
Sanma:	DIDN’T I JUST SAY I’M YAMAGUCHI MOE?!
Takahashi:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ahaha(lol) Well, well…
Sanma:	If you pinch your nose like this, you’ll sound like her.
Fujimoto:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”
Takahashi:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe..”
Sanma:	Say it even slower.
Fuji/Taka:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”
Sanma:	Ahh, you two suck at it too.
Everyone:	(lol)
Sanma:	Takahashi, who else can you impersonate?
Takahashi:	Me?
Sanma:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	Ahhhh! Onitsuka-san!
Sanma:	Onitsuka-san? Onitsuka Chichiro-san?
Fujimoto:	“Chichiro” (rofl)
Takahashi:	It’s Chihiro-san!
Fujimoto:	(lol) It’s Chihiro-san.
Sanma:	Onitsuka Chihiro-san…
Fujimoto:	Yes. (lol)
Takahashi:	Ah! Doi Takako-san too!
Sho-ji:	Ah, right!
Sanma:	Right, right!
Sho-ji:	You’re good at that one, right?
Takahashi:	“Doi Takako de gozaimasu!“
Sho-ji:	Amazing! That sounded like her!
Sanma:	And what about Onitsuka?
Takahashi:	♪I am God’s…♪ Doesn’t sound like her.
Sanma:	Does it sound like her or not?
Fujimoto:	It does!
Takahashi:	It sounds like her if I do it seriously.
Sanma:	Ahh…. Then do it seriously!
Takahashi:	I think it sounds like her.
Sanma:	Show me.
Takahashi:	Wait a moment please…
Sanma:	Yes.
Takahashi:	♪I am…♪ A moment please.
Sanma:	Was that good?
Takahashi:	Which one of her songs should I sing?
Fujimoto:	I think that song is best.
Sanma:	“I’m Yamaguchi…”
Fujimoto:	“…Moe.”
Sho-ji:	Who’s that?
Takahashi:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”
Sanma:	You have to say it even slower. Enough of that. Hurry and do the Onitsuka one now.
Takahashi:	“I’m Yamaguchi…”
Sanma:	Not that one!!
Everyone:	(lol)
Sanma:	Not Yama… (lol) Yamaguchi. Do the Onitsuka one.
Takahashi:	♪I am God’s… child… Kono fuhai shita sekai ni otosareta~~♪
Sanma:	How’s it? How’s it? Does it sound like her, Mikitty?
Fujimoto:	Yes, she sings like that.
Takahashi:	She sings like this.
Sanma:	But Takahashi, you’re really good at singing!
Sho-ji:	She’s good!
Fujimoto:	She is.
Sanma:	When you sing in a different way than in Morning Musume songs, you sound better.
Takahashi:	Is that so?
Sho-ji:	I bet you’re good at singing ballads!
Sanma:	Right, right! That just now was…
Tamai:	How did the “Kaere Sorento” one go?
Takahashi:	♪Vide ‘o mare quant’è bello!♪
Everyone:	(lol)
Takahashi:	♪Spira…♪
Sho-ji:	You’re really good at singing!
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	When you sing in a way like that Onitsuka one, then you sound better than normally!
Takahashi:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	Yeah…
Takahashi:	Thanks.
Sanma:	I bet you’re good at singing Kiroro’s songs.
Takahashi:	Kiroro?
Sanma:	Kiroro’s songs. ♪Nagai aida♪ for example.
Takahashi:	♪Matasete gomen♪
Sanma:	Ohh, that one.
Sho-ji:	Ohh, that’s a nice voice.
Takahashi:	We used to sing this in chorus club.
Sanma:	“Nagai aida”?
Takahashi:	Yes. “Best friend” too. The one that goes like this. ♪Mou daijoubu shinpai nai to♪
Sanma:	Ahhh…
Sho-ji:	Good!
Sanma:	But the way you sang that Onitsuka song was best.
Takahashi:	♪I am God’s…♪
Sanma:	It’s good if you sing like that.
Takahashi:	Ah! I got another one!
Sanma:	….that’s enough already.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	One more!
Sanma:	That’s enough already.
Takahashi:	Umm… umm… umm… What was her name? What was her name….?
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	Who?
Sho-ji:	Doi Takako?
Takahashi:	Not her!
Sanma:	“Doi Takako de gozaimasu!”
Takahashi:	Not her! Not her!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Eh? Mikawa-san? Mikawa-san?
Takahashi:	No, no, no!
Sanma:	♪Iie watashi♪
Takahashi:	No! Not him!!
Tamai:	Kikukawa-san?
Takahashi:	No!
Sanma:	“I’m Kikkawa…”
Takahashi:	Not her!
Fujimoto:	Yamaguchi Moe-san?
Takahashi:	No…
Sanma:	“I’m Yamaguchi Moe…”
Fujimoto:	Ahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	♪Itsumo no you ni maku ga~♪
Sanma:	Ahh! Chiaki Naomi-san!
Takahashi:	Right, right.
Sho-ji:	That sounded like her, it really did.
Takahashi:	I like her songs.
Sanma:	Ah, I see.

fourth mail: Fujimoto’s portrait of Sanma (48′34”)

from “Potechin” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. I heard that Shiba-chan and Murata-san once tried drawing portraits of Sanma-san and Sho-ji-san during a Melon Kinenbi live concert, but now Mikitty had to draw a portrait of Sanma-san in her own radio show as a punishment. Sanma-san, please have a look at it and let us know about your impressions of the portrait.

• Fujimoto drew this portrait in the Dokimiki Night episode on August 16th, 2004

Sanma:	This one’s from “Potechin” in Osaka.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Everyone at YanDo, good evening.”
Everyone:	Good evening!
Sanma:	“I heard that Shiba-chan and Murata-san once tried drawing portraits of Sanma-san and Sho-ji-san during a Melon Kinenbi live concert, but now Mikitty had to draw a portrait of Sanma-san in her own radio show as a punishment.”
Fujimoto:	(rofl)
Sanma:	“Sanma-san, please have a look at it and let us know about your impressions of the portrait.” it says.
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	How did the listeners obtain the portrait?
Fujimoto:	Umm… In the radio show I present on my own… I have to draw a portrait of someone as a punishment if I can’t recite a tongue twister correctly. And I’m really bad at drawing.
Sanma:	Yes, yes.
Fujimoto:	And I drew Sanma-san… (lol)
Sanma:	It’s ok that you drew me, but how did the listeners get hold of it?
Takahashi:	Ah, they used a computer.
Sanma:	Ahh… you make it open to the public?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	(sees the portrait)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Who’s this..?
Sanma:	It says “Sanma-san”.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Sho-ji:	This is beyond recognition.
Sanma:	Doesn’t it look like Sho-ji?
Sho-ji:	Haha(lol)
Fujimoto:	First of all, I drew buck teeth. (lol)
Sanma:	I’m saying “Ohh, imitate Lum-chan please.”. And… “Ahh.. Ahh… Ha…ha…”.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	Ahahaha(lol)
Sanma:	This shows how I always laugh, huh? Isn’t this Sho-ji?
Fujimoto:	Noo, it’s Sanma-san!
Sanma:	Doesn’t look like me.
Sho-ji:	Doesn’t look like him.
Takahashi:	It doesn’t look like him.
Fujimoto:	I know it doesn’t look like him. (lol)
Sho-ji:	You’re no good at drawing?
Fujimoto:	I’m no good at it.
Takahashi:	You really are no good at it.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol) Yes, I am…
Sanma:	One can see that you don’t have no talent for drawing.
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	No talent. The ears are totally different in size too.
Fujimoto:	Ahahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It looks like the “Who cares anyway?” face Chibi Maruko-chan makes.
Everyone:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Ahhhh! You’re right!!
Sanma:	It looks like one of Chibi Maruko-chan’s classmates who is silently standing in the background making a “Who cares anyway?” face.
Fujimoto:	(lol) That’s not true…
Takahashi:	It looks like that!
Sanma:	It does, doesn’t it?
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	It doesn’t look like me at all.
Tamai:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	But it’s Sanma-san.
Sanma:	No, no. This… means that you don’t like me. When girls draw someone they like, they usually make the person look more handsome.
Fujimoto:	But I added hearts on both sides of your name.
Sanma:	But then you’d make me look more handsome!
Fujimoto:	No, no, I tried to make you look handsome and that’s the result! (lol)
Sanma:	You couldn’t capture any of my features…
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	You seriously suck at it.
Fujimoto:	But…
Takahashi:	(lol) He said you suck at it.
Fujimoto:	I can’t draw…
Sanma:	Can’t be helped coz you suck at it. So that’s what you do as a punishment in your show.
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Sanma:	And you make it open to the public in the internet, huh?
Tamai:	Right. It’s made public in the internet.
Sanma:	Ah… Eh, you can get it if it’s in the internet?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Haa…
Tamai:	And you can print it on paper.
Sanma:	So you can draw portraits of others and put it into the internet?
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	That’s amazing… Looks like I have to get connected to the internet soon…
Tamai:	That’s right.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	You should.
Sanma:	Internet, huh… What other benefits does the internet offer?
Fujimoto:	Let’s see… You can find information about all kinds of things.
Tamai:	Right. And you can send and receive mails.
Sanma:	I know that. Of course I know that much!
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	Music too!
Fujimoto:	You can download music.
Sanma:	But that’s illegal, isn’t it? Actually.
Tamai:	No, no, it isn’t. It’s legal.
Takahashi:	You can copy the music you’re allowed to copy.
Sanma:	Eh, what was that?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	What? Ah, you mean “copy”?
Sanma:	(flees from the topic) ♪Degua monte sero♪
Takahashi:	♪Vide ‘o mare…♪
Everyone:	(lol)
Tamai:	It starts with “vi”.
Sanma:	Ah, “vi”.
Tamai:	“Vide” (lol)
Sanma:	♪Veoh mante…♪
Takahashi:	♪Vide ‘o mare quant’è bello!♪
Everyone:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	The end.

The “boke lectureship returns” corner (52′04”)

	(intro: “Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari”)
Tamai:	The YanDo boke corner returns!!
Fujimoto:	Yaay!
Takahashi:	Yay!
Sanma:	We’re bringing it back again?
Takahashi:	Yaay!
Tamai:	(lol) Umm… We heard that Takahashi Ai-chan doesn’t act like a boke in quiz corners of tv shows.
Takahashi:	It’s because I’m not a boke!
Fujimoto:	No, you’re one. (lol)
Takahashi:	Eh?
Tamai:	Since she’s denying it, we thought we should teach her how to act like a boke in Youngtown one more time.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ah, I understand. So in short, Takahashi doesn’t act like a boke even though she is one and everyone expects her to act like one.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	Mmm…
Tamai:	That’s why we thought Sanma-san and Sho-ji-san could teach her again.
Sanma:	Ah, I see, of course, of course.
Tamai:	Then Fujimoto and Takahashi will both have a boke lectureship today.
Fujimoto:	Yes, please.
Takahashi:	Yes, please.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Tamai:	(lol) Then I’ll tell you the theme, Fujimoto and Takahashi will act like boke’s and master and Sho-ji-san will judge which one of the two was a better boke.
Takahashi:	Mmm.. >_<
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	Then are you two ready?
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.

phrase: “Quietly peep into the school of killifish. All the killifish are XXXing.”

from “Ootomo-san and Sasaki-san” (53′09”) Dialog between Sanma-san and Musume: Sanma: “Quietly peep into it. Quietly peep into it.” Musume: “All the killifish are XXXing.”

 

Tamai:	There’s a children’s song called “Medaka no gakkou“. Sanma-san will sing “Quietly peep into it, quietly peep into it.” and after that Fujimoto and Takahashi will sing “All the killifish are XXXing”. (01′14”)
Sanma:	Ah, they’ll have to finish the sentence.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	So you have to change the lyrics. “All the killifish are XXXing.”. Ok, then decide with janken who’s gonna start first.
Fujimoto:	First the stone. Jankenpo! I won!
Sanma:	First or second?
Fujimoto:	I’ll go first.
Sanma:	Eh, you sure you want to go first?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	You just recently recovered from your cold, so don’t push yourself too hard.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Yes… Then I’ll go first.
Sanma:	Then here we go.
Fujimoto:	Ok.
Sanma:	♪Quietly peep into it♪
Fujimoto:	…
Sanma:	Now you should sing “All the killifish are…”, right?
Tamai:	Yes. (lol)
Sanma:	Shall I sing the “All the killifish are…” part too?
Tamai:	No, no, he will sing the first line once and then you’ll directly reply.
Fujimoto:	Ah! Ok. One more time please.
Sanma:	The school of killifish, right?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	♪Quietly peep into it♪
Fujimoto:	♪All the killifish are playing truant♪
Sanma:	Truent?
Fujimoto:	Truant. (lol)
Sanma:	Ah, truancy, huh?
Takahashi:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	But you know….
Sho-ji:	It’s difficult to understand, isn’t it?
Sanma:	♪All the killifish are playing truant♪
Fujimoto:	Playing truant.
Sanma:	It sounded like “playing truent”.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol) No, they’re playing truant.
Sanma:	Ahh… I see.
Fujimoto:	Because it’s a school for killifish, the killifish don’t want to go there.
Sanma:	Well, well, you could say it was socio-satirical if you were to praise it.
Tamai:	That’s right.
Sanma:	You could say it was socio-satirical. Ehhh.. This would probably get you applause from the audience too.
Fujimoto:	Oh!
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Like I said, Takahashi, you have to act like a boke here. Ready?
Takahashi:	Yes!
Sanma:	Are you prepared?
Takahashi:	Please go on.
Sanma:	♪Quietly peep into it♪
Takahashi:	♪All the killifish happily drowned together♪
Everyone:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	(lol) That was good, that was good!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	That was good, that was good. It’s because they’re all comrades.
Fujimoto:	That was cute! (lol)
Sanma:	It’s like saying “It’s not scary if we cross the street together on a red light.”.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	That was… They all happily drowned together. One would say “Isn’t that cruel?!”.
Fujimoto:	(lol) That was cute…
Sanma:	That was good.
Takahashi:	Yes, thank you very much.
Sanma:	You have to say things like this in quiz shows!
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	You’re right.
Sanma:	Right, right.
Sho-ji:	Do you always give normal answers (in quiz shows)?
Takahashi:	Yes, I answer normally.
Sho-ji:	That’s no good…
Takahashi:	But I have a responsibility to bear…
Sanma:	What responsibility?
Takahashi:	Collective responsibility.
Fujimoto:	It’s always team games.
Sanma:	Ah… I see, I see. If you lose, there’s always a punishment waiting for you all, huh?
Fujimoto:	That’s right. If we lose, we don’t get any reward for example.
Sanma:	Takahashi can’t show her funny side with such rules holding her back.
Sho-ji:	Yeah. Definitely not.
Fujimoto:	It’s scary, right? Your heart starts beating faster.
Takahashi:	So scary…
Fujimoto:	You end up thinking “What if I make a mistake…”..
Sanma:	Ahh… So it’s that kind of show…
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Then it can’t be helped…
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	Then let’s continue.

phrase: “Please let me take a break from YanDo.”

from “Naniwa no bakushou samurai” (56′09”) Dialog between Sanma-san and Musume: Musume: “Sanma-san, I have something important to do this week, so please let me take a break from YanDo.” Sanma: “What do you have to do?” Musume: “[insert funny reason]”

 

Tamai:	First the two YanMusume will say “Sanma-san, I have something important to do this week, so please let me take a break from Yantan.”. (04′08”)
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Tamai:	Then master will ask “What do you have to do?”.
Sanma:	“What do you have to do? What’s the matter?” and then they’ll say something funny.
Tamai:	That’s when they say something funny.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	No need to hold back.
Sanma:	“No need to hold back” (lol)
Tamai:	Yes. (lol)
Sanma:	Then let’s start with Miki-chan.
Fujimoto:	Yes!
Sanma:	Ok.
Fujimoto:	Sanma-san, I have something important to do this week, so please let me take a break from YanDo.
Sanma:	Eh? Why?
Fujimoto:	I want to check if the Lawson near my home on the countryside is still there.
Sanma:	Ah, well, well… You mentioned the Lawson gag… Well, I’ll be nice because you’ve only recently recovered from your cold.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol) Yaaay!
Sanma:	I’m only being nice because you’ve only recently recovered. Normally I’d have excoriated you.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol) You’re nice today.
Takahashi:	What do I do, what do I do…
Sanma:	Well, she’s only just recovered. She had a temperature of more than 39° for a few days, so it’s understandable.
Tamai:	You’re right.
Fujimoto:	(lol) But I’m more a tsukkomi anyway.
Sanma:	Miki, you’re a tsukkomi? (lol)
Fujimoto:	More a tsukkomi than a boke.
Sanma:	I see.
Fujimoto:	I’m a tsukkomi in Morning Musume.
Sanma:	Ah, so you’re in charge of tsukkomi there.
Fujimoto:	Something like that.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Now… Mikitty played along with my Lawson joke.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	That’s why you definitely have to say something really good to beat it.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Takahashi, let’s start.
Takahashi:	….
Sanma:	Takahashi?
Takahashi:	Mm?
Sanma:	Eh? Am I Takahashi? I’m not, am I?
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	You.. You’re Takahashi, aren’t you?
Takahashi:	Yes, you’re right!
Sanma:	Don’t mix them up. I’m Sugimoto, I know our names sound alike, but…
Everyone:	(lol)
Takahashi:	(stuttering) Sanma-san! I have something important to do, so please let me…
Sanma:	(lol) Ehh…? No, say it properly from the start!
Takahashi:	Yes, I’m sorry. Yes. Sanma-san!
Sanma:	What is it?
Takahashi:	I have something important to do, so please let me take a break from YanDo.
Sanma:	Eh, why’s that?
Takahashi:	(with a heavy dialect) A typhoon’s comin’ an’ I gotta hurry up an’ go!
Sanma:	What did you say? (lol)
Fujimoto:	I have no idea what you just said. (lol)
Tamai:	Haha(lol) What did she say?
Takahashi:	(lol) There’s a typhoon comin’! I gotta hurry up!
Sanma:	(lol) What was that?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	The planes won’t be able to land!
Sanma:	(lol) Not like that…
Takahashi:	Eh? (getting irritated) A typhoon is coming!
Sanma:	Uaaah!(lol) What the hell… (lol)
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol) But I have to get on the plane, right?
Sanma:	(lol) That may be, but more important than that… You have to act like a boke! This is the boke lectureship! That wasn’t boke, was it?
Takahashi:	…no.
Sanma:	You answered seriously! You have to be a boke!
Takahashi:	Yes.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	You gotta be a boke! Ok? Got it?
Takahashi:	I understand.
Sanma:	One more time, one more time.
Takahashi:	Sanma-san! I have something important to do, so please let me take a break from YanDo.
Sanma:	Eh? Why?
Takahashi:	I have to cram for a test.
Sanma:	Pfft(lol) Like I said…
Tamai:	Hahahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Such a normal reason. Cramming for a test is important, isn’t it?
Takahashi:	What should I do~~~?!
Sanma:	That was too normal. You don’t have to take a break from YanDo for that!
Takahashi:	You’re right…
Sanma:	You have to say something unbelievable, something crazy in such a situation. Got it?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ok, one more time.
Takahashi:	Sanma-san, I have something important to do, so please let me take a break from YanDo.
Sanma:	What’s the matter?
Takahashi:	Umm… I have to go buy vanilla coffee.
Sanma:	Something like that is no good!
Everyone:	(lol)
Sanma:	That was no good. Now hurry up and say something crazy.
Takahashi:	What do you mean with “something crazy”?
Sanma:	Eh? Something like “I gotta get into the shoerack.”. Something that doesn’t make sense. Something crazy that suits your character, Takahashi.
Takahashi:	Ehh…
Sanma:	It’d be weird if Mikitty said that though.
Takahashi:	Ehhhh~
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	We’re practicing how to be a boke right now, aren’t we?
Takahashi:	But I’m not a boke.
Sho-ji:	No, you gotta act like one.
Sanma:	Act like one.
Takahashi:	You’re right, huh?
Everyone:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	Murakami-san, how would you do it?
Tamai:	“Murakami-san” (lol)
Fujimoto:	“Murakami-san” (lol)
Sho-ji:	Me? Me? Umm… Sanma-san, let me take a break from YanDo next week.
Sanma:	Why’s that?
Sho-ji:	Hideyoshi summoned me.
Sanma:	(lol) Yeah, something like that.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	Ahh… That was great!
Tamai:	(lol) Was it great..?
Sho-ji:	No way!
Takahashi:	Great!
Sho-ji:	Really?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Saying something crazy like that is what being a boke is like. Now, Takahashi, try it.
Takahashi:	Yes. Sanma-san, I have something important to do, so please let me take a break from YanDo.
Sanma:	Why’s that?
Takahashi:	I’ll travel to the year 645!
Sanma:	Not good…
Takahashi:	Why not?!
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	This is not the time to be visiting the Taika reforms!
Takahashi:	But I like Prince Naka-no-Ōe!
Sanma:	What are you saying, you… you…
Takahashi:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s hopeless.
Takahashi:	I had enough.
Sanma:	“I had enough” (lol)
Everyone:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	That’s my line, you idiot!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Who are you to say “I had enough”?!
Takahashi:	I’m sorry. (lol)
Sanma:	That’s my line!
Takahashi:	I’m sorry.
Sanma:	“I’m sorry” won’t cut it!
Takahashi:	Yes, I’m really sorry.
Fujimoto:	(lol) “I had enough” (lol)
Tamai:	That was “YanDo boke returns”!
Takahashi:	Yes, thank you~
Sanma:	Don’t let a corner like this return!!!
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Tamai:	(lol) I’m sorry…
Takahashi:	Ai!
Tamai:	The song please.
Sanma:	What song is this?
Takahashi:	Umm… It’s from Tsunku-san’s album “TAKE 1″ which was released in February 2004.
Sho-ji:	Oh.
Takahashi:	“LOVE~since”… Huh?
Fujimoto:	1999.
Takahashi:	(lol) “LOVE~since 1999~”

Song: Tsunku with Takahashi Ai 「LOVE~since 1999~」 (60′39”)

“Listener wo iyashitai!” corner (63′01”)