Takahashi Ai’s Radio-graphy

(Translator’s note: No Japanese log this time.)

Notes

• 2004-05-08 「MBS YoungTown Doyoubi」 Official Site
• participants: Akashiya Sanma, Murakami Sho-ji, Tamai Kenji
• YanMusume: Fujimoto Miki (9th appearance), Takahashi Ai (13th appearance)

It wasn’t supposed to make the audience laugh… “I’ll buy something for you.” again… Sho-ji-san’s good points are..? Fujimoto’s anime voice & Takahashi’s funny voice Study until you come back!! ~~from the YanDo staff message board~~

Digest

• Opening
  • Sanma and Sho-ji talk about the little bad things that happened lately
• Listener mail corner (13′48”)
  • [Subject] Sho-ji made the audience laugh in “Search for the 2nd Fujikko! 4 Hours comedy special!” (14′00”)
    • Sho-ji made the audience laugh when he wasn’t supposed to do so
  • [Subject] Baseballer Otsuka singing “Love Machine” (15′54”)
    • Sanma argues with Fuji/Taka about whether Otsuka is a fan of the two or not
      • Sanma doesn’t think so, because Fuji/Taka weren’t in Momusu during the time of “Love Machine”
  • [Subject] Sanma’s annual trip to America (20′57”)
    • Sanma says he will buy Fuji/Taka presents
    • then the topic turns to Fuji/Taka taking a break from Yantan
    • Sanma teaches the two the right way to answer the question “Have you already kissed anyone?”
  • [Subject] Birthday date memory hooks (26′23”)
    • memory hooks for the birthday dates of Shibata Ayumi, Fujimoto Miki, Inaba Atsuko, Murakami Sho-ji, Tamai Kenji, Takahashi Ai and Gotou Maki
    • Sanma tells Fuji/Taka to tell UFA’s head Yamazaki that they want to come back to Yantan
  • [Subject] Nacchi’s comment on Murakami-san (32′59”)
    • Sanma gives Fujimoto advice on how to appear sexier
      • he tells the two not to wear any underpants anymore
  • [Subject] About soccer player Roberto Baggio (43′57”)
    • Sanma talks about the soccer players Signori and Baggio and also about his special memory about Baggio
    • Sanma reminds the two again that he’s a big shot
    • Fuji/Taka are asked about what kind of places they’d like to go to
      • Takahashi: “Palace of Versailles“
      • Fujimoto: “The Mouth of Truth” in Rome
• “Hitte saikou ni suru be~” corner (51′17”)
  • talk topic: “Sho-ji-san’s good points”
    • Fuji/Taka can’t think of any good points
    • Sanma apologizes for the bad topic because there just isn’t anything good about Sho-ji
• Song: Morning Musume’s 「Roman ~MY DEAR BOY~」 (59′41”)
• “Sanma-san wo iyashitai!” corner (60′07”)
  • [Takahashi]
    • 「Sugimoto-kun, you’ve practiced hard today. I’ll wipe the sweat off for you, ok?」 (61′49”~)
    • 「I’ve made a mistake again! Ahh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!」 (66′10”~)
  • [Fujimoto]
    • 「San-chan, make Minami’s dream come true. Please.」 (64′48”~)
    • 「Hey.. I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.」 (69′14”~)
• Karaoke Box 「Sanchama」 (73′02”)
  • 「Mikitty no uta」 (parody of 「Doraemon no uta」 from the anime Doraemon) Takahashi sings it and Fujimoto does two impersonations
• Ending (77′50”)
  • more talk about Fuji/Taka’s break and the next week’s regulars Shibata Ayumi and Gotou Maki

Detailed description

[Please click here to download the whole episode as a mp3-file.]

Opening

Sanma:	You know… Nowadays, there’s nothing good for me anymore..
Tamai:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	There has to be some good things.
Sanma:	In my private life, well, there are some good things.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	What?
Sanma:	But everything related to sports…
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	The teams I’m fan of keep losing one match after another..
Tamai:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Ehh.. These lifeless mornings.. Real Madrid is already in a position where they can’t win the championship anymore.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	Usually at 4 or 5 am… The matches start at about 4 or 5 am.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	And they end at about 7 or 8 am.
Tamai:	Uwaa~~
Sanma:	And since then I’ve been umm… spacing out..
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	Drinking Iichiko.. the loneliness..
Tamai:	Drinking Iichiko at 7 or 8 am? (lol)
Sanma:	I can’t help it after something like that happened.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	The other day when I opened my fridge.. there was cold medicine. Cold medicine I had bought many years ago.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	And I thought “What a waste… I haven’t gotten a cold for two years now…”
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	And I thought “Ah! I’mma drink cold medicine and alcohol after it and get dead drunk!”.
Tamai:	That’s what you thought? (lol)
Sho-ji:	And you didn’t have a cold?
Sanma:	I didn’t. And then… Have you guys ever drunken cold medicine and alcohol after it?
Tamai:	I haven’t.
Sanma:	Ah! This is… I wouldn’t recommend it. I can’t recommend it, but your head starts spinning! It starts spinning many times!
Fujimoto:	Heee…
Sanma:	That’s why… Ah! You two don’t know it, huh? Of course you two can’t know it, huh?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Sho-ji, Sho-ji, don’t you ever do something like that? On purpose? Like when you have money for only one bottle of beer and still want to get drunk, so you drink the beer after drinking some cold medicine.
Sho-ji:	But drinking the cold medicine seems already like a waste to me..
Sanma:	Hahaha(lol)
Tamai:	Is cold medicine expensive?
Sho-ji:	It’s expensive.
Sanma:	It’s cheap! Idiot! (lol)
Sho-ji:	It’s expensive!
Fujimoto:	You mean the one for adults?
Sanma:	No, I use the one for children, Jikinin.
Fujimoto:	The liquid one?
Takahashi:	Ahhh~! I often drink that!
Sanma:	You don’t drink that often. Only when you got a cold, right?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Fufufu(lol)
Sanma:	You often get a cold?
Takahashi:	Well.. When I think it’s a bit cold I drink it.
Sanma:	When it’s a bit cold, you already drink it?
Takahashi:	Well, when it’s cold..
Sho-ji:	Don’t you think of turning the heater on?
Sanma:	Right, right.
Sho-ji:	When you think it’s a bit cold.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	When it’s really chilly for example.
Sanma:	So you directly drink it then…
Takahashi:	Well… I drink it before it gets worse.
Sanma:	That’s not good, not good, not good. At times like that the worst thing you can do is drinking alcohol or medicine.
Fuji/Taka:	Ahhh…
Sanma:	And then.. I thought I’d drink the cold medicine because it’d be a waste to throw it away.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh… And I thought I’d drink alcohol afterwards.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	When I did that, I got all groggy.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	You get really groggy…
Fujimoto:	Heee..
Sanma:	You get so groggy, it’d make you laugh.
Fujimoto:	Hee… That’s dangerous..
Sanma:	And because I drank cold medicine even though I didn’t have a cold..
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	I had a slight cold from the next day on.
Tamai:	Ahahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ehhh-?
Sanma:	I mean… Getting a cold from drinking cold medicine is… weird, isn’t it?

• more talk about weird mixtures to get you drunk as quick as possible
  • Sanma tells the two girls to try it out as well (drinking cold medicine and alcohol) and to be careful when they actually do it
• more talk about Real Madrid:

Sanma:	By the way, Real Madrid lost another match the other day.. You two didn’t watch the match, right? Of course not. (05′15”)
Fuji/Taka:	We haven’t.
Sanma:	Ah, you didn’t watch it, huh? (disappointed)
Tamai:	Ahahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ah! The one they lost 0 - 1?
Sanma:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	Wrong?
Sanma:	I think it was 2 - 1.
Fujimoto:	Ah, then I was wrong.
Sanma:	What match was 0 - 1?
Fujimoto:	Eh? Didn’t they lose a match that way? (lol)
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	Well, they often lose.. They’ve lost 8 matches already.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	In the league matches.. But you know Real Madrid, right?
Fujimoto:	Beckham for example.
Sanma:	Right, right, right.
Fujimoto:	That’s the team he’s in, right? Yes, yes.
Takahashi:	Ohh!
Sanma:	Beckham only? Do you like Beckham? What about Takahashi?
Takahashi:	Well, I know Beckham only.
Sanma:	So you’re not interested in the team he’s in?
Takahashi:	Yes!
Sanma:	Ah, is that so.. (disappointed)
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol)

• more about Sanma’s bad luck series:
  • after watching the match Real Madrid lost, Sanma watched a horse race
    • but the horse he put his bets on (Fast Tateyama) lost the race
  • the NBA teams he’s fan of (Memphis Grizzlies and New York Knicks) both lost their matches
• Sho-ji’s bad luck series:
  • Sho-ji wanted to make the miso soup he loves and had bought and prepared everything for it
    • he had prepared the tofu, fried bean curd, green onion and eggs
    • when he had already started cooking, he noticed that the most important thing was missing:
      • the miso itself
  • he caught a cold
  • his head is throbbing all the time
  • in his appearance in a show for young comedians (mentioned in the last yantan) his jokes which weren’t meant to make people laugh were a big hit and thus totally ruined the script of the show
  • when he wanted to hang up a blanket on his veranda, the blanket flew away
  • Sho-ji says it’s all because of the ruined miso soup

Listener mail corner (13′48”)

first mail: Sho-ji made the audience laugh in “Search for the 2nd Fujikko! 4 Hours comedy special!” (14′00”)

from “Nagurawa Kaikutsu” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. I listen to every broadcast of Yantan even though my reception is full of noise. I’ve watched master Murakami’s appearance in “Search for the 2nd Fujikko! 4 Hours comedy special!” which has already been mentioned in Yantan before. After director Miyake’s comment “His gags are too surreal. I recommend this person!” Murakami-san appeared. He showed his face with a bar sign hanging from his head and asked “Auntie, is this place open?”, which caused a roar of laughter and after that he showed us one gag after another. “Bonjour mademoiselle kakimaze-ru”. When the sarcastic laughter had ended, last but not least he was dragging along a kettle which was attached to his foot and asked “Who? Who’s following me?!” and made everyone laugh again. However after the performance backstage Murakami-san was desperately apologizing to director Miyake. Master Sanma, somehow comfort this Murakami-san please.

• Sanma: “The plan was to make lame jokes, but you made the audience laugh. It’s the same like making someone laugh with a line that was supposed to make them cry.”
• Sho-ji: “If I only had miso at that time..” Fujimoto: “So it’s because of the miso soup! (lol)”

second mail: Baseballer Otsuka singing “Love Machine” (15′54”)

from “Naniwa no bakushou samurai” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. This year is a year with an abundance of Japanese Major Leaguers. While the Japanese player with the highest salary Ichiro is stuck in a slump, pitcher Otsuka who got enrolled into “Padres” is making a great effort assisting the closer Hoffman as a relief pitcher. And it looks like that pitcher Otsuka was singing Morning Musume’s “Love Machine” during a team photographing session. Pitcher Otsuka commented that “If Morning Musume gets to know about this, I hope they’ll come to the baseball stadium.”. I’m sure Morning Musume is very busy and don’t really have an opportunity to go to the baseball stadium, but Mikitty and Ai-chan, please root for pitcher Otsuka who’s doing his best overseas.

• the radio log below starts from when the mail has been read out

Sanma:	“…but Mikitty and Ai-chan, please root for pitcher Otsuka who’s doing his best overseas.”. (00′40”)
Fujimoto:	Yes!
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Do you know him?
Fujimoto:	I didn’t know about that.
Sanma:	As a fan of Morning Musume pitcher Otsuka wants you to visit him…
Fujimoto:	Heee…
Takahashi:	Is that so? Thank you very much.
Fujimoto:	Thank you very much.
Sanma:	You don’t have to thank for something like that, it’s normal.
Sho-ji:	You know pitcher Otsuka?
Fuji/Taka:	……..
Sho-ji:	Ah, you don’t know him.
Fujimoto:	Yeah..
Sanma:	Ah, he’s doing his best in Major League. He was in “Orix” before? Where was he again? Ehh…
Sho-ji:	Where was he again…
Sanma:	Somehow… (the staff informs him) “Kintetsu”, huh?
Tamai:	He went from “Kintetsu” to “Chunichi“.
Sanma:	Ah, right, right. And from there he went into Major League.
Fujimoto:	Hee… Amazing!
Sanma:	Ehh…
Takahashi:	Makes you happy, right?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Well, I think there are many people like him.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Love Machine”. How did that go again?
Fuji/Taka:	♪Morning Musume mo Wow Wow Wow Wow♪
Sho-ji:	♪Wow Wow Wow Wow♪
Sanma:	Ah, isn’t that a song from a long time ago?
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Sanma:	At that time Mikitty and Takahashi Ai hadn’t joined yet.
Fuji/Taka:	We hadn’t.
Sanma:	What the… Then it’s not really..
Sho-ji:	Right?
Takahashi:	Gotou-san had just joined at that time.
Fujimoto:	Right, right.
Sanma:	Ahh.. Then it means you guys don’t have anything to do with it.
Fujimoto:	Why do you have to say that?
Sanma:	No..(lol)
Takahashi:	Honestly.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	The members from that time graduated before you got to know them, right?
Fujimoto:	But we sing it in our concerts.
Sanma:	Yeah, but…(lol)
Sho-ji:	You sing it, but..
Sanma:	You sing it, but… this person.. doesn’t like you two at all.
Fujimoto:	No, he likes us.
Sanma:	No, wrong, wrong, wrong. Umm..
Fujimoto:	Why….?
Sanma:	What “why”? You guys don’t have anything to do with this song “Love Machine”.
Fujimoto:	We do have something to do with it!
Sho-ji:	You hadn’t joined yet at the time of “Love Machine”, right?
Sanma:	You hadn’t yet, right?
Fujimoto:	We hadn’t.
Sho-ji:	Then it’s not good.
Sanma:	Then you don’t have anything to do with this.
Sho-ji:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	But we’re Morning Monin.. Musume…
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Moniminimini?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	We’re Morning Musume!
Sanma:	You’re Morning Musume, but player Otsuka doesn’t really like you.. You don’t belong to the members he likes.
Fujimoto:	Why~!?
Sanma:	What “why”..
Takahashi:	Then that means he maybe likes Yaguchi-san.
Sanma:	Right, right, it could be Yaguchi-san.
Takahashi:	It could also be Gotou-san.
Sanma:	Right, could be. That’s what I was saying.
Takahashi:	I understand.
Fujimoto:	Ehhhh….
Sanma:	That’s why you guys don’t have anything to with this.
Takahashi:	It’s not that we don’t have anything to do with it, right? (Fukui intonation!)
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	“Right?”.. (lol)
Takahashi:	Right? Right?
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Are we talking on a rice field or what?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol) No, we’re not.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	(imitating Takahashi) “It’s not that we don’t have anything to do with it, right?”
Takahashi:	We don’t have anything to do with, huh?
Sanma:	Yeah, you don’t.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Wait..

• talk about the pitcher Kida, who is in the middle of rehabilitation after a surgical operation on his elbow
• Sanma says he’s fighting all alone just like the successful pitcher Ichiro in Major League

third mail: Sanma’s trip to America (20′57”)

from “Kawaii Nori-chan” Today I’ve been wondering if Ishikawa Rika-chan, who was with Miki-chan and Ai-chan on the Osaka campaign, didn’t hold a grudge against the two for getting her bracelet and her Yantan regular position snatched away. (read about the Osaka campaign in the previous Yantan from 04-05-01) Everyone at YanDo, good evening. Sanma-san goes every year around this time to America to refresh his mood, last year he went there to meet player Matsui and to watch Broadway shows. Will you be able to go this year as well?

 

Sanma:	“Will you be able to go this year as well?”. Ehh… (00′25”)
Fujimoto:	Heee..
Takahashi:	Amazing!
Fujimoto:	Do you always go there?
Sanma:	Ah, every year, you know? I go to New York.. I definitely go to Australia and New York. Also to other places overseas.
Fuji/Taka:	Heee..
Sanma:	This year will be an overseas year for me. Ehh… Very soon I’ll probably go to New York. Around 17th..
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Takahashi:	Oh..
Sanma:	So I’ll buy something there and give it to you.
Fujimoto:	Ah!
Takahashi:	We did it!
Fujimoto:	We did it!
Sanma:	Something cheap..
Fujimoto:	You said it now!
Takahashi:	Amazing, Broadway is… amazing, right?
Fujimoto:	Are you going to watch it there?
Sanma:	I’ll watch it.
Fujimoto:	Do you understand English?
Sanma:	I don’t understand English.
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Eh…?
Sho-ji:	Well, even if he understood English you can’t know if he will really bring you something.
Sanma:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	No, he will!
Sho-ji:	You shouldn’t put your hopes up so much..
Takahashi:	Will you bring us something?
Sanma:	Let’s put that “Will you bring us something?” aside. I’ll probably bring you something. Something like that bracelet.
Takahashi:	Ah, is that so! Thank you very much!
Fujimoto:	Ah!
Sanma:	Something like the one from last time is fine, right?
Takahashi:	We did it!
Sanma:	Ehh..
Fujimoto:	Huh?!
Sanma:	What “huh”?
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	Eh….
Sanma:	What?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	What was that “huh” about?
Fujimoto:	Next time.. I wonder when we will be here..
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	Right…
Fujimoto:	Next time…
Sho-ji:	What?
Sanma:	Ah!! You guys won’t be here for a while?
Takahashi:	Right. Today’s the last time.
Sho-ji:	Eh?!
Fujimoto:	A little break..
Sanma:	(lol) Eh? Who’ll be here next week?
Fujimoto:	Next week..
Sho-ji:	No way! Really?
Sanma:	Ah!
Fujimoto:	Gocchin and Shibata Ayumi-chan.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ahh… I understand. Today’s the last time? (lol)
Sho-ji:	Eh?!
Sanma:	That was a short time.. (lol)
Sho-ji:	That’s sad…
Fujimoto:	Eh? Eh? We won’t come here anymore? … It’s not the last time.
Takahashi:	Ohh! I’m glad.
Sanma:	So the formation will change again, huh? In many ways.
Fujimoto:	Just a little break… Umm..
Sho-ji:	Already tired? (lol)
Fujimoto:	Musical and so on..
Takahashi:	Musical and so on..
Sho-ji:	You get worn-out quickly!
Tamai:	How quickly!
Fujimoto:	You got it wrong!
Takahashi:	That’s not true!
Sho-ji:	Already need to charge your batteries?
Fujimoto:	No, not yet, not yet, not yet..
Tamai:	No stamina at all…
Takahashi:	That’s not true! We have a musical coming up, so..
Sanma:	Your musical’s starting again. The one you do every year..
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Sanma:	I see.. So Gocchin and the others don’t appear in the musical?
Fujimoto:	No, they don’t.
Fuji/Taka:	It’s for Morning members only.
Sanma:	Ahh, I see, I see, I see. That can’t be helped then.
Fujimoto:	That’s why when it’s over..
Sanma:	What?
Fujimoto:	Not “what”… (lol) The present…
Sanma:	Ah, the present, right?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Ehh… It can’t be helped, if I bring it here and end up giving it to Gocchin and the others, ok?
Fujimoto:	Eh?
Takahashi:	Ehhh?!
Fujimoto:	Ehhhhh~?
Sanma:	It can’t be helped, you know?
Fujimoto:	Then it’ll be fine if you just buy 4 of them.
Sanma:	I’ll buy a lot more of them.
Fujimoto:	Then it’s fine, isn’t it?
Sanma:	You guys aren’t the only girls in the world, you know?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	I gotta distribute it to the girls here and there.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	You can’t even do a simple thing like embracing me!
Tamai:	Yeah.
Sanma:	If I gave something like bracelets to other girls, they’d give me a kiss at least! For your information!
Fujimoto:	Ehhh… You want us to give you one?
Sanma:	…..you two don’t have to.
Fujimoto:	He smiled a bit! (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Hahahaha(lol)
Sanma:	If you two kissed me, I’d feel shy. Extremely shy.
Everyone:	Ahahahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol) So you’d feel shy.
Fujimoto:	So you’d feel shy. (lol)
Sanma:	Isn’t that obvious?! You two haven’t even kissed someone yet, have you? Takahashi, you haven’t, right? You haven’t kissed anyone yet, right? Right? You haven’t even held hands with a guy yet, have you?
Takahashi:	Ah! Hands… I wonder if I have…
Sanma:	You haven’t..
Takahashi:	Ah! When I was in kindergarten…
Sanma:	We don’t need that!
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Takahashi:	During an excursion I held hands with a boy.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	We don’t need something like that! I didn’t ask for something like that!
Fujimoto:	When we all went to school together..
Sanma:	That’s the kind of reply I hate the most!
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Hahahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Arama~.
Fujimoto:	Arama~.
Takahashi:	Arama~.
Sho-ji:	He doesn’t go easy on you, huh..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	He got angry with a serious look on his face.
Fujimoto:	He had a serious look on his face..
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	These two don’t know much yet, you know?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	No. (lol) There are people who ask back “You mean my first kiss?”, right? There are many people like that, right?
Tamai:	Yes. Yes.
Sanma:	I hate that. I really do!
Fujimoto:	Then what should we do?
Sho-ji:	You mean the people who ask that even though they already know, right? Acting like they don’t know.
Sanma:	No, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Sho-ji:	No, no. Not good.
Sanma:	People who ask back “How old? How old do I look like?”… That’s the worst reply ever.
Fujimoto:	Ah, when you ask “How old are you?”..
Sanma:	Right, right, right.
Fujimoto:	And “How old do I look like?”..
Sanma:	They ask back “How old do I look like?”.
Fujimoto:	One feels like saying “The hell I know!”..
Sanma:	Yeah, right, right. “How old are you?” “Don’t know, why don’t you just tell me how old you are?!” If she’s 30, then she should just say she’s 30. I hate people asking back “How old do I look like?”.
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Sanma:	I only say “Ah, really?” then.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Scary! (lol)
Sanma:	Or when they say something like “My first kiss was… with a dog in kindergarten..”.. If at that time.. If I had a spear I’d stab them!
Tamai:	Hahahaha(lol)
Sanma:	If by chance, accidentally a spear came out..
Takahashi:	I’m lucky.
Sanma:	You’re lucky. (lol) Today I don’t have a spear with me. (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	I’m glad!
Sanma:	Seriously. (lol) By now you’d already have a spear in your head.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	I’m glad.
Tamai:	Accidentally you didn’t have a spear with you until now.
Sanma:	Umm.. This is… That’s why, Takahashi, don’t say things like that.
Takahashi:	Yes, I’ll be careful.
Sanma:	You haven’t kissed anyone yet, right?
Takahashi:	I haven’t.
Sanma:	Ehh… (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	That was a bit too fast.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Got it?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	What kind of reply do you hope for?
Sanma:	Eh? Umm.. I like the ones who say “Ah!” and think of saying it, but stop themselves.
Tamai:	Ahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	Ah!
Sanma:	Right, the ones who start with an “Ah!” and say “I almost said it..”. They’re good.
Takahashi:	Ah!
Sanma:	Right, right, right.
Fuji/Taka	Hihihi(lol)
Sanma:	And when I point it out you say “No, I didn’t, I didn’t.”. That’s the best. Get it?
Tamai:	Ah, I understand.
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Sanma:	Ehh… Fujimoto, how old were you again?
Fujimoto:	I’m 19.
Sanma:	Then you already had something like a kiss, right?
Fujimoto:	No, no, no, no..
Sanma:	Of course you have!
Fujimoto:	(lol) No, no, no. What are you saying? (lol)
Takahashi:	You have to say “Ah!”..
Fujimoto:	AH!
Takahashi:	“Ah!”
Sanma:	That’s right! Takahashi.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	She didn’t learn anything.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Like “Ah!”..
Sanma:	Takahashi, here we go again. Takahashi, have you ever kissed someone?
Takahashi:	Ah!
Sanma:	Hahaha(lol) That’s it, that’s it.
Fujimoto:	Hahahahaha(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Cuuute!
Takahashi:	Uhh..
Sho-ji:	Cuuute!
Sanma:	That’s it, that’s it. Got it, right?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Please answer like that from today on.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Yes.

fourth mail: Birthday date memory hooks (26′23”)

from “Hiru wii” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. For Sanma-san who can’t remember the birthday dates of other people I tried creating some memory hooks for the birthday dates of the members who will be in Yantan from April on. Shibata Ayumi (2.22) - “Shiba-chan’s phone goes tsu-tsu-tsu” (tsu(2)-tsu(2)-tsu(2)) Fujimoto Miki (2.26) - “Tsukkomi, tsukkomi, romantic Mikitty” (tsu(2)-tsu(2)-ro(6)) Inaba Atsuko (3.13) - “Inaba monooki saisan toreru” (Inaba monooki is a furniture and warehouse company) (sa(3)-i(1)-san(3)) Murakami Sho-ji (5.28) - “Gottsuu yabai Murakami-san” (Go(5)-tsu(2)-ya(8)) Tamai Kenji (9.06) - “Tamai no jinsei, kurou bakari” (ku(9)-ro(6)) Takahashi Ai (9.14) - “Kuishinbou no Takahashi Ai” (ku(9)-i(1)-shi(4)) Gotou Maki (9.23) - “Kyou mo Gomaki wa kutsumigaki” (ku(9)-tsu(2)-mi(3))

 

Sanma:	“I tried creating some memory hooks for the birthday dates of the members who will be in Yantan from April on.”. They’re like “Ii kuni tsukurou Kamakura bakufu“, so I can memorize the birthday dates of everyone. (00′07”)
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	He made them for me.
Takahashi:	Oh!
Sanma:	Ehh… Shibata will come here next week, right?
Fujimoto:	She’ll come.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Uh… Ah, her birthday’s over. I’m glad, I’m glad.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	Mean! Mean!
Takahashi:	Right?
Sho-ji:	Shibata…?
Sanma:	February 22nd.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	I should memorize it with “Shiba-chan’s phone goes tsu-tsu-tsu” it says. (tsu(2)-tsu(2)-tsu(2))
Sho-ji:	Ah, I understand.
Sanma:	Because it’s on February 22nd, right?
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Shiba-chan’s phone goes tsu-tsu-tsu.”
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Takahashi:	Tsu-tsu-tsu.
Sho-ji:	You can memorize it in a normal way though.
Takahashi:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	Tsu-tsu-tsu.
Sho-ji:	You can just normally memorize it. February 22nd.
Tamai:	That’s true.
Sanma:	If you say something like that, then in history class..
Sho-ji:	It’s 2-2-2!
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Got it already. Then it’s ok with “fuu-fuu-fuu” as well.
Sho-ji:	Ah, I see.
Sanma:	“Making fuu-fuu-fuu because the meal’s hot.” would be good too.
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Sanma:	If you put it like that, there’s no end to it.
Sho-ji:	Ah, that’s right.
Sanma:	“Naku yo, naku, naku yo, uguisu” starts looking poor then. (”naku yo, uguisu” is a mnemonic for the establishment year of Heian-kyo, 794)
Sho-ji:	Poor.. (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	You think about it looking poor and so on? (lol)
Sho-ji:	How do the others go?
Sanma:	February 26th is Fujimoto Miki-chan’s.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Tsukkomi, tsukkomi, romantic Mikitty”. (Tsu(2)-Tsu(2)-Ro(6))
Fujimoto:	Can’t remember it like that.
Sanma:	“Tsukkomi”… Eh?
Fujimoto:	Just normally like February 26 incident is good, right?
Sanma:	“Romantic”..
Sho-ji:	That’s true.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	“Romantic… Mikitty”..
Fujimoto:	“Romantic”..
Sanma:	“Tsukkomi, tsukkomi”.. Ah! It’s 2-2 and roman. “Tsukkomi, tsukkomi, romantic Mikitty”.
Fujimoto:	Yes. I released a song called “romantic”.
Sanma:	Ah, is that so? When?
Fujimoto:	It’s called “Romantic ukare mode”. From a pretty long time ago when I was solo.
Sanma:	Oh, oh, oh..
Fujimoto:	And that’s why it’s “romantic” I think.
Sanma:	2.26, right? February 26 incident is easier to remember.
Fujimoto:	Yes. You remember it, but you don’t do anything for me.
Sanma:	Who? Me?
Fujimoto:	I said it before too. You asked me about it 2 or 3 times before.
Sho-ji:	Before is when.. what…
Fujimoto:	When I was here as a solo artist, the topic changed to birthdays again and was it Aya-chan? I was here with Matsuura Aya-chan, Natsukawa-san and someone else.
Sanma:	Yeah..
Fujimoto:	And Aya-chan asked you “Sanma-san, what about my birthday present?”..
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	And when I was asked “Fujimoto, when’s your birthday?” and I answered “February 26th.”, you said “Ah, it’s the February 26 incident, it’s easy to remember!”.
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	And the other day you asked me again and I told you, but…
Sanma:	(lol)
Takahashi:	I was asked too.
Sho-ji:	Well, you know, there are people who’ve been waiting for a present for 8 years now.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	You two are waiting for only 2 or 3 years, so it’s nothing yet.
Fujimoto:	Ehhhh~?
Tamai:	I’ve been waiting for about 14 years.
Fujimoto:	Ahahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	Uwaaa~.. That’s a long time..
Sanma:	Inaba’s is on March 13th.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	March 13th..
Sanma:	“Inaba monooki saisan toreru” it says. (Inaba monooki is a furniture and warehouse company) (sa(3)-i(1)-san(3))
Sho-ji:	Ohh! That’s good!
Takahashi:	Ohh!
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Tamai:	That’s good.
Sho-ji:	That’s really good.
Sanma:	“Inaba monooki saisan toreru”.
Fujimoto:	Amazing.
Sanma:	Murakami Sho-ji-san!
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	May 28th.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Gottsuu yabai Murakami-san” (Go(5)-tsu(2)-ya(8))
Sho-ji:	“Gottsuu yabai”.. That’s good, huh?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	What’s with that guy?!
Tamai:	Ahahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	I’mma beat him up!
Fujimoto:	Ahaha(lol) “I’mma beat him up!” (lol)
Sanma:	Tamai Kenji.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	Since his is on September 6th..
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Tamai no jinsei, kurou bakari”. (ku(9)-ro(6))
Sho-ji:	Hmm.. Good.
Tamai:	That’s so true.
Fujimoto:	“That’s so true” (lol)
Sanma:	But Takahashi Ai-chan’s is good!
Takahashi:	Ah?
Sanma:	Takahashi’s is September 14th, right?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	“Kuishinbou no Takahashi Ai“. (ku(9)-i(1)-shi(4))
Takahashi:	Oh~!
Sho-ji:	Oh! That’s good, isn’t it?
Takahashi:	It’s amazing, huh?
Sanma:	“Kuishinbou no Takahashi Ai”.
Sho-ji:	I see.
Sanma:	I’m supposed to remember it like this.
Takahashi:	Please remember it, ok?
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	Please remember it, ok?
Sanma:	Ehh… September 14th.. It’s close to Tamai’s, so I’ll definitely remember it.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh… September 14th..
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	September 23rd is Gotou Maki-chan’s. “Kyou mo Gomaki wa kutsumigaki”. (ku(9)-tsu(2)-mi(3))
Sho-ji:	Ohh…
Sanma:	“If you try to remember them like this, it’d be easiest for Sanma-san to remember them.” he says.
Tamai:	Ohh… Yes.
Fujimoto:	Do you remember the first one?
Sanma:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	The first one.. (lol)
Sanma:	Tsu-tsu-tsu!
Fujimoto:	Ahh! That’s a bit vexing..
Sanma:	Yours is 2.26, right?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	The kuishinbou is Takahashi.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Right, right.
Takahashi:	Amazing, amazing!
Sanma:	This is.. (lol)
Sho-ji:	If you think about it, it’s amazing, huh? They’re really easy to remember.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	Oh! Maybe now he’ll remember mine for the first time!
Sanma:	I memorized them, memorized them. The only problem is that you guys don’t come here! When you’re regulars for many years and we’re always together, I’d remember them, but.. Sometimes you guys come and sometimes you don’t. Next month, next week you won’t come, right?
Takahashi:	That’s right..
Fujimoto:	Yeah, but very soon.. we’ll come back, right?
Takahashi:	At that time we’ll ask you again.
Sanma:	Who on earth are the regulars now? This time.
Fujimoto:	Well..
Sanma:	The main regulars this time are Mikitty and Katou?
Fujimoto:	Katou?!
Sanma:	No, not Katou, Satou.. (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	You always confuse her with Katou Ai-chan! Sanma-san!
Takahashi:	Then I’m Katou.
Sho-ji:	This time he said “Satou” too.
Fujimoto:	Who’s Satou?! (lol)
Takahashi:	Katou.
Sho-ji:	He didn’t really declare “Satou” though..
Fujimoto:	Katou! Satou?! (lol)
Takahashi:	Then from now on I’ll be Katou.
Tamai:	You will?
Sho-ji:	Ohh, that’s good… Satou… Satou Ai..
Takahashi:	There is already one though.
Sho-ji:	There is?
Tamai:	Then she’ll be Katou from now on.
Takahashi:	I think there are two.
Sho-ji:	Then we should stop with that.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Then you better be Katou. Katou Ai.
Takahashi:	There is a Katou Ai too.
Sanma:	(lol)
Tamai:	There is.
Takahashi:	Katou Ai-san.
Sho-ji:	Then let’s just stick to Takahashi Ai.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Umm… (lol) What is it now?
Takahashi:	Hmm? Hmm? What do you mean??
Tamai:	Hahahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	That was good! “Hmm? Hmm?” You’re good, Takahashi!
Fujimoto:	No, no, no… (lol)
Sho-ji:	(lol) “What do you mean?” “Hmm? Hmm?”
Takahashi:	(lol)
Tamai:	That was good.
Fujimoto:	She thinks “Eh?”. (lol)
Sho-ji:	You’re good, Takahashi.
Tamai:	Good!
Takahashi:	Ehhh?
Sanma:	I mean who’s going to come here the most? Seriously.
Fujimoto:	Well..
Sanma:	In any case, in summer you’ll be busy again, right?
Fujimoto:	Well, the musical..
Sanma:	When the musical’s over, you’ll have things like concert tours and so on, right?
Fujimoto:	Eh, but we properly came here even when we had concerts.
Takahashi:	Right?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	But this time you’ve been here only 3 or 4 times, right?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	That’s right..
Sho-ji:	This is the 4th time.
Fujimoto:	The 4th time..
Sanma:	Right? In that case, next it will change to Gomaki.. Shibata-san and Gomaki..
Fuji/Taka:	Yeah.
Sanma:	The question is who will be here after that.
Tamai:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	We two will come.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	You two will come? Try to find it out. Fujimoto, you, properly make some direct appeal to… chairman Yamazaki.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Yes. What should I tell him?
Sanma:	“We would like to take part in Yantan…”
Fujimoto:	Ah!
Sanma:	“So.. Please.”
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Like that… You two want to do this, right?
Fujimoto:	We want to do this!
Takahashi:	We want to do this!
Fujimoto:	That’s why it’s sad!
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Then Takahashi, you also tell the chairman properly when you meet him.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	“I… Yantan… Even if I had to quit Morning Musume I’d like to be in Yantan!”
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	You wanna quit? (lol)
Fujimoto:	She said “Yes.”.
Sanma:	You don’t want to quit Morning Musume, do you?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Tell him “Otherwise our rhythm will collapse!”.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	You know, if it keeps on going like this that we meet only sometimes..
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Well, but you know? We’ll do our best and come back here!
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	You’ll do your best and come back here?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh…
Fujimoto:	Please wait for us.
Sanma:	Ah, got it. (lol)
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	It’s amazing… This enthusiasm.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	What if you don’t come back after all this..
Fujimoto:	No, something like that won’t happen!
Takahashi:	We’ll be back, right?
Fujimoto:	We’ll definitely be back!

fifth mail: Nacchi’s comment on Murakami-san (32′59”)

from “Ohanabi” Nacchi and Yaguchi-san had an appearance in a promotion show of the Tokyo Comedy Festival in Fuji TV on May 1st (Saturday). In that show they held a quiz for the participating entertainers and one of the questions was related to Murakami Sho-ji-san. The question was “Murakami Sho-ji-san is famous for his ‘Duuun’ gag he dominated the Hyoukinzoku with. What gag is Sho-ji-san into right now?”. When Nacchi heard the question she asked the quizmasters “Summers” “Umm.. Gag, huh? Is it a funny gag?”. While everyone burst out laughing Mimura-san from “Summers” answered in a rush “Of course it’s funny! He’s a big veteran, you know! If Sho-ji-san was here everything would be perfect!”. Nacchi is a first generation YanMusume and always laughed out loud at Sho-ji-san’s gags, but maybe deep in her heart she had an unexpectedly severe valuation of him.

 

Sanma:	“..but maybe deep in her heart she had an unexpectedly severe valuation of him.”. (00′50”)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	Well, but Nacchi asked that ehh… knowing what she’s asking.
Sho-ji:	That’s right.
Sanma:	I mean… Nacchi is doing her best in talks lately.
Sho-ji:	From our impressions, right? All the time..
Sanma:	Ehh.. The other day she was doing her best too, right? In that one show..
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	She’s still a bit naive though. Umm..
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	She was doing her best after graduating from Momusu.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	That’s why from now on you two also.. have to learn a lot and…
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Nacchi is improving a lot right now, you know?
Fujimoto:	Mmm..
Sanma:	Ehh.. Now she’s busy with a drama..
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Nacchi doesn’t come anymore, huh? Lately.. to Yantan.
Fujimoto:	Hmm…
Sanma:	Nacchi’s 22 years old now. Already.
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Sanma:	Right? Next week Gomaki will be here, so Tamai’s delighted about it.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh….
Sanma:	Right, Mikitty, I’m sorry, but this guy here’s a Gomaki fan, you know?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol) “This guy here’s a Gomaki fan.” kinda sounds.. terrible.
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	That’s how it is. I’m very sorry, but.. Umm… Well, Fujimoto also became cuter. Lately.
Sho-ji:	Cute..
Fujimoto:	That totally sounds like a lie though.. (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	Seriously more sexier…
Fujimoto:	It’s amazing how he’s forcing himself.. (lol)
Sanma:	Now the only thing left is to become sexier. What you lack is sexiness.
Fujimoto:	Ehh… You think so?
Sanma:	I think so, but… Umm..
Takahashi:	It’s her hair style!
Sanma:	Ehh?
Takahashi:	Her hair style!
Sanma:	Hair… Eh?
Takahashi:	Her hair style..
Fujimoto:	Hair style.. (lol)
Takahashi:	It’ll be different if you change your hair style.
Fujimoto:	Not because I don’t have any make-up on right now?
Sanma:	No, no, I mean I prefer one’s look without make-up. Ehh.. Isn’t it just that you don’t have any sexiness as a 19-year-old?
Fujimoto:	Ehh? That’s not true!
Sanma:	Isn’t it better to show yourself sexier? I mean..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Because sexiness wins over cuteness, right?
Sanma:	Right, right, right! Wins over cuteness.
Fujimoto:	Really..?
Sanma:	People say it comes from your underwear. They say “A woman’s sexiness comes from her underwear.”
Tamai:	Hoo…
Fujimoto:	Hmm…
Sanma:	That’s why… isn’t it better to wear t-backs more more often?
Fujimoto:	Why’s that?! (lol)
Tamai:	Like “Bang Bang!”.
Sanma:	Like “Bang Bang!”
Fujimoto:	(lol) No, no.. No one wears things like that. Probably.
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Of course girls wear t-backs!
Takahashi:	Ehhh?
Fujimoto:	They don’t!
Sanma:	But they have one!
Fuji/Taka:	They don’t have one!
Sanma:	Eh?
Tamai:	Ehh…?
Sanma:	Teenagers don’t have t-backs?
Fujimoto:	They don’t! They don’t!
Takahashi:	They don’t!
Sanma:	Don’t you wear it with G pants, so the panty line isn’t visible?! As a fashion trend.
Fujimoto:	No, no, no!
Takahashi:	I don’t.
Sanma:	That’s what the girls said at yesterday’s goukon!
Sho-ji:	I used to wear a handbag a long time ago! (t-back -> handbag? @_@)
Sanma:	Uwaa…
Fuji/Taka:	(LOL)
Sho-ji:	In a comedy skit.
Sanma:	I remember it.
Sho-ji:	Huh?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	People didn’t find it funny at all.
Fujimoto:	He said “I remember it.” (lol)
Sho-ji:	You remembered it for me?
Fujimoto:	You’re a bit like a couple! (lol)
Sanma:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(imitating Sanma) “I remember it.”.

• Sanma and Sho-ji describe the handbag comedy skit of Sho-ji, I’ll leave it out, since I’ve never seen it and might end up translating it all wrong
  • one thing is sure though: it must have been pretty lame

Tamai:	The others wanted you to do something like that in the show from the other day. (03′51”)
Sho-ji:	Ah, I see. I should have worn the handbag.
Tamai:	That’s right. That was the right place for it.
Sho-ji:	Then I’ll do my best in part 2!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	There’s a part 2? (lol)
Sanma:	Don’t appear in it anymore!
Sho-ji:	Fufufu(lol)
Sanma:	Don’t appear in it anymore! I refuse it.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol) So there is a part 2. (lol)
Sanma:	Ehh… That’s how it is. So teenagers don’t have things like t-backs?
Takahashi:	They don’t.
Fujimoto:	Well, umm… we don’t have any, but.. I’m sure there are average people who wear them..
Sanma:	Teenagers wear them too, right?
Fujimoto:	There are probably ones who wear them..
Sanma:	But “wearing them”… Seriously, the most people have ones because of fashion!
Fujimoto:	I understand that you wear them “so your panty line isn’t visible”… It somehow makes sense to me, but..
Takahashi:	Hmm..
Sanma:	Well, well, that’s what you say, but.. Ehh… Just by wearing it your behaviour becomes girly and so on.. In earlier times women didn’t wear any underwear under their kimono to appear sexy, you know?
Fujimoto:	Mmm…
Sanma:	That’s why you can see the difference between the women.
Tamai:	Haaa… It’s the feeling “I’ll be in trouble if I get naked!”, huh?
Sanma:	Right, right! And then your legs start facing inwards. If you think about it, models also.. models walk like that.
Tamai:	Ahh, I see..
Sanma:	And you will get a beautiful leg posture, right?
Fujimoto:	Yes, yes.
Sanma:	That’s why you have to practice that.. You want your standing pose on stage to look more attractive than others, right?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Takahashi:	Mm..
Sanma:	The other members are all your friends, but… Even if the other members are your friends, you still want people to think “Ah, Takahashi’s pose is cool.” or “Mikitty’s cool” when Mikitty comes suddenly walking to the front, right? In that case..
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	You need to put some effort into it.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	Yeah.
Sanma:	You two, don’t wear any underpants anymore from today on!
Fujimoto:	Ehh~?! No, no way! (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Do it or else we won’t wear any either!
Sanma:	It’d be bad if you’re the only ones not wearing any, so..
Fujimoto:	That doesn’t have anything to do with it! (lol)
Sanma:	So I’ll take off mine too!
Sho-ji:	Fufufu(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	No, no… (lol)
Sanma:	Because it’d be bad if you’re the only ones.
Sho-ji:	Right.
Sanma:	Yeah, so I’ll take off mine too!
Fujimoto:	No, no…
Sanma:	It’d be bad otherwise.
Fujimoto:	Ehehe(lol) No need for that..
Sho-ji:	Isn’t his standing pose cool?
Sanma:	Right, right. When you you two say that I look cool, I’ll be so happy that I’ll finally put on my underpants again.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Got it?
Takahashi:	Ehh….?
Sanma:	Umm.. Such effort is necessary! Do you get what I’m saying?
Takahashi:	You’re saying that we should put more effort into it, right?
Sanma:	I’m saying “Don’t wear any underpants!”.
Takahashi:	In a different… place..
Sanma:	Eh? Wear it at a different place?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	What the hell’s that?
Fujimoto:	Ehh, I don’t want to!
Sanma:	Then do it at home! At home!
Fujimoto:	I don’t want to…
Sanma:	Why the… No one’s looking then!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	But you’ll get a cold then!
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	A cold.
Sanma:	Look. Looking attractive or not getting a cold. Which one do you choose as a pro?
Takahashi:	…..
Sanma:	Overcoming the obstacle of getting a cold and having an attractive standing pose for example. Get it?
Takahashi:	But if I get a cold I might lose my voice.
Sanma:	Ah, I see.
Fujimoto:	“Ah, I see.”. (lol) He agreed. (lol) He agreed with her.
Sho-ji:	Fast!
Tamai:	That was fast!
Sanma:	So you two don’t plan on taking them off? Definitely not?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	So we’ll have to take off ours..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	Well then..
Sho-ji:	We’ll definitely.. take off ours!
Tamai:	Have a good look!
Fujimoto:	He said “Have a good look!”! (lol)
Takahashi:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	No way~!
Sanma:	But that’s how it is.
Tamai:	Yes.
Sanma:	Things like sexiness..
Fujimoto:	Hmm..
Sanma:	Fujimoto, since you’re 19, you have to be more cunning.. more cunning, so you have to appear sexy even in the most trifling matters.. There are surveys about what kind of behaviour men like and so on, right?
Fujimoto:	(lol) There aren’t.
Sanma:	In magazines for example. There are, there are.
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Sho-ji:	There are surveys like that.
Sanma:	In order to be able to do all of them in a natural way, you have to be always learning..
Fujimoto:	Eh… But that’s not what we’re supposed to be doing here.. (lol)
Sanma:	Not here. On TV for example. On the stage.
Sho-ji:	Right, right. Even in little talkshows, right?
Sanma:	Right.
Sho-ji:	Like this.. At the most trifling moments..
Fujimoto:	(lol) “Like this”.
Sho-ji:	You raise your hair and..
Sanma:	Right, your hair!
Fujimoto	Combing them upwards..
Sanma:	Combing them upwards for example. There are poses which boys like.
Fujimoto:	What kind of ones do you like?
Sanma:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	What kind of ones do you like?
Sanma:	Eh.. I like the umm.. “Not today.” one.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Eh? Is that a pose?
Sanma:	Ah, not a pose. If you want a pose, it’d be this one.
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	“I’m a bit tired…”
Fujimoto:	No way!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	On TV, TV..
Tamai:	Something you can do on TV, TV..
Sho-ji:	Little trifling moves..
Sanma:	On TV?
Sho-ji:	You can’t say that on TV.
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	That’s right.
Sanma:	Yeah. As for me, it’s this one.. You put your finger to your lips like this.
Fujimoto:	Ah, Miki often does that.
Sanma:	Then you show your tongue a bit. Just a bit. It wouldn’t be good if it was on purpose, so on the side..
Fujimoto:	Ehh~
Sanma:	Ah, that, that, that. That’s what I like. And then the one where you turn around and show your butt.
Fujimoto:	Eh? Eh!?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	No way you can do that on TV..
Takahashi:	On TV..
Sanma:	A leopardess, leopardess!
Fujimoto:	“Leopardess” (lol)
Tamai:	A “leopardess”..? (lol)
Fujimoto:	A leopardess is something different.. (lol)
Sho-ji:	In a talkshow.. (lol)
Sanma:	If you put your clothes like this and your chest a bit.. Err.. This is actually not what I like..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Actually I’d get mad if a woman made this pose, but.. Not on purpose, but naturally saying “Eh?” as an answer. Like “Eh?”, “Eh?”.
Fujimoto:	Eh? (lol)
Sanma:	No, no, if you do that it’s a failure. Isn’t that Antonio Inoki after a punch to his head?!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Just a little, a little. Like at one end of the bed and I say “Here, here!”..
Sho-ji:	Ohh, that’s good. Cute.
Sanma:	Do it properly! Man, this pisses me off..
Fujimoto:	Why do I have to be scolded? (lol)
Sho-ji:	He wants you to appear cute, you know?
Sanma:	Right, right, right.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	I also like “Ii da.“. “Ii da.”.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	“Ii da.”
Fujimoto:	(lol) Ii (lol) da.
Sanma:	That’s wrong! Man… Takahashi, try it a bit.
Takahashi:	Ehh…
Sanma:	“Ehh..”
Fujimoto:	She drew back.
Takahashi:	Ii da.
Sanma:	Wrong. (lol)
Sho-ji:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	I’mma hit you!
Takahashi:	Can you say “Iida”?
Sanma:	“Can you say Iida” (lol)
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	Is it because it sounds the same like your leader? (lol) “Ii da.”
Takahashi:	Ii da.
Sanma:	Wrong. (lol) Try to say it in a cuter way! Like “un.”.
Takahashi:	Ii da.
Sanma:	Wrong, wrong. More like “un”.
Takahashi:	(imitates Sanma)
Sanma:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	You, I’mma hit you on radio! What are the people in front of their radios..
Fujimoto:	(lol) She did it a second time.
Sanma:	Yeah, a second time, you overdid it.
Sho-ji:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	But I did it. Right?
Fujimoto:	You did it.
Sanma:	Well, that’s how it is.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	There’s also combing your hair upwards. Like this.
Sho-ji:	Unintentionally.
Sanma:	Unintentionally. KimuTaku does it often on purpose.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh?!
Takahashi:	So that’s how it is.
Sanma:	He does it fully on purpose. Like this, do you call it letting wind in your hair? Raising your hair like this.
Fujimoto:	Yes, yes.
Takahashi:	Ahh…
Sanma:	But well, he’s a pro, so he does it on purpose. And the audience is also waiting for him to do that. It’s cool.
Fuji/Taka:	Hmm..
Sanma:	And also wink at them. In concerts for example he winks at them on purpose..
Fujimoto:	I do winks too!
Sanma:	Who?
Fujimoto:	I wink at them too.
Sho-ji:	Is that so?
Sanma:	On the stage?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	What kind of wink?
Fujimoto:	(winks)
Sho-ji:	Oh!
Sanma:	More tenaciously like this..
Fujimoto:	I can do it with both eyes.
Sanma:	How?
Fujimoto:	(winks with both eyes)
Sanma:	Ah, you really can. I can do that too!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	What about Takahashi?
Takahashi:	(winks)
Sho-ji:	Oh..
Sanma:	Wahh..
Takahashi:	What is it!? (lol)
Sho-ji:	It looks like Hiroge Ken-san’s.
Fujimoto:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It only looks like you’re chewing on something hard.
Tamai:	It looks like she’s angry.
Sanma:	Wrong, wrong. (lol) Sexier. Takahashi, try sticking your tongue out.
Takahashi:	(sticks her tongue out)
Sanma:	Ahh, that looks good if you do it.
Sho-ji:	That looks good.
Sanma:	Try raising your hair. The ones in front of your forehead. (he means bangs >_<)
Takahashi:	Ahh~! Not good!
Sanma:	Why not?
Takahashi:	Because I got a wide forehead.
Sanma:	…Wait, wait, a wide forehead is cute!
Takahashi:	I don’t want to!
Sho-ji:	Your forehead isn’t wide.
Takahashi:	It IS wide.
Sanma:	Then show us how wide it is..
Takahashi:	Eh, I don’t want to.
Sanma:	Why the..
Takahashi:	(shows her forehead)
Sanma:	Uwaa!
Sho-ji:	Uwaa!
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	(with a voice like a dying duck) I told you it’s not good!
Fujimoto:	You reacted with a “Uwaa!”. With a “Uwaa!”.

sixth mail: About soccer player Roberto Baggio (43′57”)

from “Ootomo-san who hasn’t changed in the last 20 years” Everyone at YanDo, good evening. Roberto Baggio who’s going to retire at the end of this season had a comeback to the Italian national team in a friendly match against the national team of Spain. Compared to the time of the world cup 10 years ago when he was called a hero, he’s full of presence also because of his white streaked hair. He had such composure that you’d never think he’s more than 10 years younger than Sanma-san. Sanma-san was a fan of Baggio’s rival Signori, so you probably don’t care much, but do you have any special memories of Baggio? 10 years ago Katou Noriko-san often mistook Baggio’s name with Pancho and Sanma-san often made fun of her with “Is he Itou-san or what?!”.

• Sanma talks about Signori and Baggio being the Italia’s two top for a while
• Sanma watched Baggio’s world cup debut in the match “Italia vs. Argentinia” in Napoli
  • Italian team wasn’t playing well and all the fans started shouting “Roberto Baggio”
  • when he came into the match in the second half the whole stadium was going crazy

Sanma:	Soon I’ll go to New York and go watch Mets’ player Matsui Kazuo play. (02′45”)
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	Of course I’ll interview him too.
Fujimoto:	Ehh..
Sanma:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	Amazing.
Sanma:	Well, it’s amazing, but… You guys always say things like that or “Wow”, but.. I’m damn popular too.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	We know that.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Right?
Takahashi:	Yes. We know that.
Sanma:	You two seem to gradually forget it and start saying that an interview with player Matsui is amazing and so on, but..
Sho-ji:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	I’m.. I’m amazing, you know?
Takahashi:	Yes, I’m sorry.
Fujiimoto:	(lol) He says it himself.
Sanma:	I say it because you two don’t get it.
Fujimoto:	We get it!
Takahashi:	We get it.
Sanma:	I say it because you two don’t get it at all!
Fujimoto:	We get it!
Takahashi:	Right?
Sanma:	Why are you going all “Wow” and “You can meet player Matsui!” and so on? Actually..
Fujimoto:	That’s not it.
Sanma:	Actually one should envy player Matsui. Actually..
Fujimoto:	Mm… Yeah.
Sanma:	It’s more correct to say “Ah, player Matsui is getting interviewed by Sanma-san! I envy him!”.
Fujimoto:	Ah, yes, yes, yes.
Sanma:	But you two are always like “Uwaa, Sanma-san, you’re lucky!” and so on. Things like that have gradually increased, so I got annoyed.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	I’m sorry.

• Sho-ji wants Sanma to ask player Matsui if he’s always chewing on 6 chewing gums at the same time
  • Sanma explains that Matsui wants to look like the other American players chewing and spitting around on the bench
  • when Matsui sat on the bench for the first time and saw all the spit on the floor, he felt like he was in Major league for the first time

• the topic turns to places you’d like to go to

Sanma:	Fujimoto, where is yours? A place you’d like to go to. You have one, right? (05′02”)
Fujimoto:	A place I’d like to go to?
Sanma:	Yeah, like if you want to go to Hollywood, it’d be the sign.. with the roman letters saying “HOLLYWOOD”.
Fujimoto:	Ehh… Where do I want to go to…
Sanma:	It’s ok if you don’t have any.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	What about you, Takahashi?
Fujimoto:	Eh, where do I want to go to..
Takahashi:	Palace of Versailles.
Sanma:	You wanna go there?
Fujimoto:	Heee..
Sanma:	Because you like Takaradzuka.
Takahashi:	That’s right, I’d like to see the real one.
Sanma:	Hee…. What’s gonna happen if you see it?
Takahashi:	Ah, I don’t know.
Sanma:	You just want to have a look.
Takahashi:	Seems like my mom went there once.
Sanma:	Ahh..
Takahashi:	She said it was smaller than she thought.
Sanma:	I went to the Palace of Versailles!
Takahashi:	Amazing!
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Why did I go there..
Sho-ji:	A palace. Aren’t you confusing it with some shrine?
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Did you really go there?
Sanma:	I did, I did. I remember I thought “So this is the Palace of Versailles.”.. Weren’t you with me then?
Sho-ji:	Ehh..?
Sanma:	Eh, where was it again? That Palace of Versailles.
Tamai:	In France.
Takahashi:	Mm..
Sanma:	Then we went there. In Europa.. Because of soccer..
Sho-ji:	We did, but did we go the Palace of Versailles at that time?
Sanma:	We did. Didn’t we see the palace? And you said “Let’s stop, let’s stop.”. That was the Palace of Versailles.
Sho-ji:	Wasn’t that a church?
Tamai:	In… Spain.
Sho-ji:	Some church in Spain.
	(……)
Sanma:	Why did I go to Versailles then.. ……. Ah! Because of “San-Tama-Mii”! (a show where Sanma, Nakamura Tamao and Asada Miyoko went to various foreign countries)
Sho-ji:	Ah!
Tamai:	Ahhhhh….
Sanma:	Ahh, got it, got it. I was there, I was there.
Takahashi:	Hmm…
Sanma:	It’s not that big of a deal. Not really.
Takahashi:	Ah, is that so?
Sanma:	It just felt like “Oh, it’s a palace.”.
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	Ahhh…
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	It’s not a big deal. Ehh.. Fujimoto, where’d you like to go?
Fujimoto:	Eh, where do I want to… (lol)
Sanma:	You’re still thinking?!
Fujimoto:	Ah, then “Roman Holiday”..
Sanma:	You don’t need to say “then” there!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	Haha(lol)
Sanma:	Got it?
Fujimoto:	Umm..
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	The place from “Roman Holiday” where you put your hand into the…
Sanma:	The Mouth of Truth?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Ah, you watched the movie “Roman Holiday”?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Ahh..
Fujimoto:	I watched it.
Sanma:	And what happened there?
Fujimoto:	“What happened?”
Sanma:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Umm… You know, it’s a lot easier to act like you didn’t watch it.
Fujimoto:	I didn’t watch it!
Staff:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Eh, you didn’t watch it?!
Fujimoto:	No, I watched it, I watched it.
Takahashi:	Ah, you watched it.
Staff:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	The end.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	The end.

“Hitte saikou ni suru be~” corner (51′17”)

• the background music of the title call is “Uwaki na honey pie” by Country Musume ni Konno to Fujimoto

from “Habarone” Topic: Sho-ji-san’s good points

 

Tamai:	“Hitte saikou ni suru be~” corner!
Fuji/Taka:	Yaay!
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	Yes. Today, please present us.. a smart discussion again.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	We’ll be counting on you, master..
Sanma:	I already told you that these two can already do it!
Tamai:	You’re right.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	But these two won’t come here for a while, so..
Sanma:	You seem very happy about it. (lol)
Takahashi:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	Eh, what will happen to this corner from next week on?
Sanma:	This will become a much more interesting corner.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	What are you saying?!
Takahashi:	Yeah, really.
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	We won’t take break!
Takahashi:	Eh?
Fujimoto:	We won’t take a break anymore! No break!
Sanma:	But aren’t these words of praise? I’m saying that you two can already do this.
Tamai:	That’s right.
Fujimoto:	Eh, but what’s gonna happen from next week on?
Takahashi:	I wonder if this corner is going to disappear..
Sanma:	Next week Gomaki and Shibata-san probably have to do their best here. And Tamai will do his very best when Gomaki’s here.
Fujimoto:	Hey…
Sanma:	We should feel with him.
Fujimoto:	That’s mean!
Sanma:	I said you two can already do this.
Sho-ji:	Yeah, you two can really do it.
Sanma:	That’s why you don’t have to do this. Actually.
Tamai:	That’s right.
Sanma:	Actually.
Tamai:	Well, but..
Sanma:	What?
Tamai:	Some great talk..
Sanma:	The fans want to hear it, too, right?
Tamai:	A different than usual talk..
Sho-ji:	The last time. For the last time you should..
Fujimoto:	It’s not our last time!
Sho-ji:	Right before your break.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	That’s right. Before your break.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Takahashi:	Before our break..
Tamai:	Then I’ll introduce today’s topic. This is from Habarone-san in Kanazawa prefecture.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Tamai:	Today’s topic: “Sho-ji-san’s good points.”
Fujimoto:	Oh.
Takahashi:	Mm..
Tamai:	With that as your topic, you’re supposed to have a talk..
Sho-ji:	I’m sorry.. for some reason.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	No, no, no reason for that..
Sanma:	But how long was it again? 2 minutes?
Tamai:	2 minutes.
Sanma:	No way they can keep it up for that long!
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Sanma:	I’ve known Sho-ji for 20 years..
Tamai:	2 minutes together. It’s a battle talk for both.
Staff:	(explains the rules)
Fujimoto:	2 minutes together.
Sanma:	2 minutes together. I’ve known Sho-ji for 20 years, but talking about his good points I’d be finished in about 5 seconds.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	After that I would be only able to think of weird things about him. His bad points for example.
Fujimoto:	Hmm..
Sanma:	I don’t think you two will do well here.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	You better apologize if there isn’t anything.
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	If it seems impossible, 10 seconds will do too.
Sanma:	Seriously, it won’t take long.
Sho-ji:	Honestly.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	There just isn’t anything.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	Then you can start talking freely.
Fujimoto:	(lol) I’ll do my best.
Takahashi:	I’ll do my best.
Sanma:	Sho-ji’s good points.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ok, start!
	(start gong) (02′16”)
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	What could it be..
Sanma:	(lol)
Takahashi:	He’s always wearing striped clothes, right?
Fujimoto:	Eh?
Takahashi:	He’s always wearing striped clothes.
Fujimoto:	He does, yeah.
Takahashi:	I have an image of him wearing striped clothes.
Fujimoto:	Recently.. About 3 weeks ago I noticed that he always has peanuts with him when he comes here.. (lol)
Takahashi:	Ah, he’s always eating sweets!
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	Right, right. He always comes walking here with sweets in his hand.
Takahashi:	Right?
Fujimoto:	Also the comedy show we’ve been talking about the other day..
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	I’ve watched it!
Takahashi:	Oh!
Fujimoto:	Thinking that Sho-ji-san will appear in it. I thought he might do the “Duuun” gag, so I was watching it very closely.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	But he didn’t do it in the end.
Sanma:	Ahh..
Takahashi:	I see..
Sanma:	“I see” (lol)
Fujimoto:	Yeah.. (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	But Sho-ji-san is cute, right?
Sho-ji:	My good points, good points..
Sanma:	His good points, good points..
Fujimoto:	He’s cute, huh?
Takahashi:	I really think he’s cute.
Fujimoto:	He really..
Takahashi:	I think calling people of that age “cute” is a bit… But I really think he’s cute.
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	His behaviour for example.
Fujimoto:	Right, right. Aichan always gets bullied by Sanma-san like this..
Takahashi::	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	And Sho-ji-san is like the one who saves you.
Takahashi:	He covers up for me..
Fujimoto:	Right, right.
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	That’s how it feels.. (lol) They’re staring at us.
Takahashi:	His hat suits him very well, don’t you think?
Staff:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sanma:	What are you laughing about?
Fujimoto:	He’s always drawing pictures, right? Sho-ji-san, right?
Sho-ji:	Mm..
Fuji/Taka:	(lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Is that all?
Fuji/Taka:	(lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	And also..
Takahashi:	What could there be..
Sho-ji:	Take your time.
Sanma:	(lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Try to look at me from different angles.
Fujimoto:	Umm…
Takahashi:	It’s amazing! He has droopy eyes!
Fujimoto:	Yeah..
Sho-ji:	That’s right.
Takahashi:	I have really turned-up eyes, so I really envy him!
Sho-ji:	Ah, I see.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol) They’re staring at us! What do we do?! (lol)
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	It seems like… it’s over.
Sanma:	The gong hasn’t sounded yet.
Sho-ji:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	But… Today seems a bit longer than usual..
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	I wonder if it’s already been two minutes..
Takahashi:	I think it’s already been two minutes.
Sho-ji:	Umm.. Nothing anymore?
	(end gong)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	It’s our fault for such a bad topic..
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	For me it’s also an unwelcome favor.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Honestly. I don’t want someone to do me this favor.
Sanma:	Right, right. That was just a totally retarded topic.
Sho-ji:	“Totally retarded” (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	I’m sorry, but “totally retarded topic”.. I think that comment was a bit unnecessary.
Sanma:	No, I just don’t want to drag you into this. Really.
Sho-ji:	Right. Like I said I didn’t want it either..
Sanma:	I don’t want them to think that it’s Sho-ji’s fault.
Sho-ji:	Right. Honestly.
Sanma:	Ehh..
Sho-ji:	Pitiful, right?
Sanma:	Pitiful. There’s just nothing good about him.
Fuji/Taka:	There is!
Sanma:	There’s nothing good!
Takahashi:	There is!
Sanma:	Striped clothes.. It’s not like wearing striped clothes is one of Sho-ji’s good points. This is…
Takahashi:	But it suits him, doesn’t it?
Sanma:	Ehh?
Takahashi:	It suits him, doesn’t it?
Sho-ji:	Also the droopy eyes.. I actually don’t like having droopy eyes.
Sanma:	Right, right.
Takahashi:	Eh, you don’t like having them?! I’m sorry!
Sho-ji:	Yes.
Sanma:	Isn’t that obvious?!
Sho-ji:	That was a great shock for me.
Takahashi:	Eh, I’m so sorry!
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	It can’t be helped, can’t be helped. It might seem like something good for you, but maybe not for the person himself.
Sho-ji:	Yeah.
Sanma:	No one would want to have eyes like this, right?
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Takahashi:	But I want to become like that!
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	…What do we do with you.. That only makes one laugh..
Takahashi:	No, that’s not it. Others make fun of them.
Sanma:	Eh?
Sho-ji:	No way, that’s true.
Takahashi:	They make fun of them. Really.
Sanma:	Who pays attention to that? If it’s any different or not.
Takahashi:	……yes.
Sho-ji:	(lol) “Yes.”. Well, let’s hang in there a bit longer, ok?
Takahashi:	Yes, I’ll do my best!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	She seems really happy. When Sho-ji-san talks to her, she seems really happy.
Sanma:	Right, really.
Takahashi:	Eh?
Sanma:	That’s how it feels like, right? When I say something strict to her, Sho-ji backs up for her, so she seems really happy.
Fujimoto:	Right, right.
Sanma:	Right, right, right. Umm… Then I’m the bad one in that case, huh?
Fujimoto:	Haha(lol)
Takahashi:	That’s not true.
Sanma:	I’m the bad one then. Always.
Fujimoto:	The one bullies and the other saves.
Sanma:	Right, right, right. It’s always like that. It’s always been like that. In my life.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Always. When I say something unnecessary in programs, he puts on a sly face.
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	And I’m… I’m always the one who holds some random speech and gets all the anger.
Fuji/Taka:	(lol)
Sanma:	That’s how my life is.
Tamai:	That’s the role you play.
Sanma:	That’s my role, yeah.
Fujimoto:	Ohh..
Sanma:	So.. Any more good points about Sho-ji… Ehh.. There aren’t any, right?
Fujimoto:	(lol) “There aren’t any, right?”
Sho-ji:	There aren’t.
Takahashi:	That’s not true..
Sanma:	What else is good about him? There isn’t anything. He didn’t even say “Duuun!” in the comedy program, right?
Sho-ji:	Yes, yes.
Sanma:	Yeah. What else did you say, Takahashi?
Takahashi:	Well..
Sanma:	That he’s usually eating peanuts, right?
Takahashi:	Sweets.
Fujimoto:	He does, he does.
Sho-ji:	That I come here eating that is because I have to, you know?
Sanma:	Right, right.
Sho-ji:	That I’m running around while eating sweets is part of nutrition, you know? That’s my dinner, you know?
Takahashi:	Ahhhh!
Sho-ji:	Biscuits only.
Fujimoto:	“Ahhhh!” she says. (lol)
Tamai:	That’s his meal.
Sho-ji:	It’s biscuits. Biscuits and sweets are my meal, you know? They’re today’s dinner.
Takahashi:	(lol) Yes.
Sanma:	So.. please stop with that half-assed treatment.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	If you turn it inside out, that was all just like badmouthing him.
Sho-ji:	(lol) “Badmouthing”
Takahashi:	Eh? Badmouthing.. Eh..
Sanma:	That he’s wearing striped clothes.. He only wears them because they’re the cheapest ones.
Sho-ji:	This one.
Takahashi:	No way!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It’s because he’s not successful.
Sho-ji:	Seriously.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	There was probably a discount on them.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	And the clothes I can’t buy in winter.. I buy them in summer.
Sanma:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	And when I wear them I sweat like a pig around my neck.
Sanma:	(lol) Because winter clothes are cheaper when you buy them in summer, you know?
Fujimoto:	Ahh…
Sanma:	That’s what he aims for. So every year he chases after fashion from the previous year.
Fujimoto:	(LOL)
	(while Tamai’s reads out the mail address for this corner, Sanma apologizes again and again for the bad topic and Fuji/Taka apologize all the time too)
Tamai:	Yes. Now Morning Musume’s song.
Fujimoto:	Yes!
Takahashi:	Yes!
Fujimoto:	Well then, please have a listen to this song which will be released on May 22nd. Morning Musume’s..
Fuji/Taka:	“Roman ~My dear boy~”!

Song: Morning Musume’s 「Roman ~MY DEAR BOY~」 (59′41”)

“Sanma-san wo iyashitai!” corner (60′07”)

• the background music of the title call is Morning Musume’s 「Ai araba IT’S ALL RIGHT」

Tamai:	“Sanma-san wo iyashitai!” corner!
Takahashi:	Yay!
Fujimoto:	Yes!
Sanma:	Well, since today’s your last time..
Fujimoto:	It’s not the last time!
Takahashi:	We’ll come back here though.
Sanma:	You’ll come back, but for the time being…
Fujimoto:	Are you going to miss us?
Sanma:	Because we don’t know when you’ll be back again.
Fujimoto:	In the near future.
Sanma:	In the near future? (lol) When your musical’s over. That’s the schedule, right?
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Sanma:	And the rest will be decided by UpFront, so..
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh.. That’s all there is.
Fuji/Taka:	Yes.
Sanma:	Iyashitai. You two haven’t gotten the hang of it at all. In these two weeks.
Tamai:	I see.
Sanma:	Last week, Mikitty was able to hold out with her anime voice.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	As for Takahashi… I didn’t get healed even a bit.
Fujimoto:	“I didn’t get healed even a bit” (lol)
Sanma:	I only got angry instead. Somewhere midway.
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Right?
Takahashi:	I’ll do my best.
Sanma:	Someone who doesn’t do her best shouldn’t say that she’ll do her best.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Because if you say you’ll do your best, I’ll end up raising my expectations, you know?
Fujimoto:	Hmm..
Takahashi:	Eh, I’ll do my bes..
Sanma:	More real life experiences… Did you watch them? Didn’t I tell you to watch more adult videos in the last week?
Fujimoto:	And we said “Please lend them to us.”, didn’t we?
Sanma:	Ah, right.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	As I said that’s something you have to study for, you know?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	From now on.. in your break.. While you’re busy with your musical, you often stay in hotels, right?
Takahashi:	But the musical will be in..
Fujimoto:	Tokyo.
Takahashi:	Right.
Sanma:	Ah, I see.
Takahashi:	That’s why we won’t stay in hotels.
Sanma:	Then it’s ok. I’ll send it over to you. To your places.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	To your mansions.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	Mansions? (lol)
Sanma:	I’ll send you lots of perverted videos.
Takahashi:	Thanks.
Sanma:	“Thanks” (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Well then..
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	What’s going to happen today. Decide the order with Janken.
	(Fujimoto and Takahashi do Janken and Fujimoto wins)
Fujimoto:	Well, I choose.. later.
Sanma:	Which? Later?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Then we’ll start with Takahashi.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Takahashi will say something to heal me. I’m counting on you.
Takahashi:	Please.

Takahashi: 「Sugimoto-kun, you’ve practiced hard today. I’ll wipe the sweat off for you, ok?」 (61′49”~)

• first it’s Takahashi’s turn:

Takahashi:	This is from “Orenji Pa-”-san. “Sugimoto-kun, you’ve practiced hard today. I’ll wipe off the sweat for you, ok?“. (Sanma’s real name is Sugimoto Takafumi) (01′42”)
Sanma:	You didn’t put any emotions into it.
Takahashi:	Eh, I did! With all I had!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	No. A situation like this.. You have to construct it first in your head, you know?
Takahashi:	Soccer!
Sanma:	Well, you know it’s soccer. You know it’s a situation related to soccer.
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	If it’s a situation related to soccer, you have to imagine various things like “Does it happen in the changing room?” or “Are we two alone?”.
Fujimoto:	Ahh..
Sanma:	Ehh… “Is it evening?”..
Fujimoto:	“Are we on the pitch?”
Sanma:	Or does that manager like me, so does she say it wanting to be embraced by me? (the word he uses here can also mean “to sleep with s.o.” :O)
Fujimoto:	Eh?
Sanma:	You’re supposed to heal me!
Fujimoto:	Why does everything lead to embracing?!
Takahashi:	Right!
Sanma:	You guys have no choice but to embrace me!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	Scaaaary!!
Fujimoto:	Ehhhh?!
Sho-ji:	It’s a soccer club, a soccer club.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	It’s a soccer club, club activities! Saying “You guys have no choice but to embrace me!”..
Sho-ji:	You’re high school students, high school students.
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	What’s with the “You guys”?! (lol)
Sho-ji:	High school students.
Takahashi:	I’ll try one more time.
Fujimoto:	That surprised me.. really..
Takahashi:	So I… I’m supposed to say it thinking that I like you, huh?
Sanma:	More than that you like me.. like “You’ve trained hard.” and that you want us to go home together. Get it?
Takahashi:	Ahh…
Sanma:	Umm.. Like saying “Let’s go home together now, Sugimoto-kun”, you know? Get it? And what are you handing over to me when you say “You’ve trained hard today.”?
Takahashi:	A towel.
Sanma:	A towel? Ehh.. A towel, huh? A PET bottle with water is better.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	A towel is something.. you don’t hand over. Normally, right?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	One more time, ok?
Takahashi:	Yes.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“Takafumi..” (she uses Sanma’s real first name)
Sanma:	(lol)
Takahashi:	“You’ve trained hard.”
Sanma:	That’s indecent, isn’t it?
Takahashi:	“I’ll wipe off the sweat“…. (lol)
Sanma:	If you call me “Takafumi” it sounds like we’re already dating.
Sho-ji:	Right, right, right.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Like you’re already dating.
Takahashi:	Ah, yes.
Sho-ji:	Like you’re already in a relationship. (Is it just me or does he sound a bit disappointed here?)
Sanma:	Right, right.
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Let’s say you’re in second year of high school and I’m in third year.
Tamai:	Ah, I understand.
Sho-ji:	Then he’s a senpai, senpai.
Sanma:	Senpai, senpai.
Takahashi:	Hmm?
Sanma:	Senpai.
Sho-ji:	Senpai.
Sanma:	“Sugimoto…san”. Let’s go with “Sugimoto-san”.
Takahashi:	Sugimoto-san. Yes.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“Sugimoto-san! You’ve trained hard. I’ll wipe off the sweat for you, ok?“
Sanma:	Not good..
Takahashi:	Ehhhh~?
Sho-ji:	The PET bottle! The PET bottle!
Fujimoto:	You didn’t wipe off the sweat for him!
Sanma:	Well, she didn’t wipe off the sweat, huh?
Fujimoto:	Yeah.
Sho-ji:	The PET bottle!
Takahashi:	Ahh, what should I do..
Sho-ji:	You should have handed it over to him.
Sanma:	Ohh..
Fujimoto:	Ohh.. Before wiping off the sweat.
Sanma:	“Drink this please.”
Takahashi:	Huh?
Sho-ji:	“Here, this.”
Sanma:	“Here, this.”
Takahashi:	Yes, alright.
Sanma:	Yeah. And after that when the senpai’s left, you look at him from behind and say quietly.. “I like you.”
Takahashi:	Uhh..
Fujimoto:	Uhh.. It’s cold, so cold.. (meaning that the situation is lame or stereotypical)
Sanma:	Yeah, now hurry up.
Takahashi:	Yes.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“Sugimoto-san! You’ve trained hard. Please take this. ….. I like you.“
Sanma:	Ohhh! Good!
Tamai:	Ohhh…
Sanma:	Ehh.. Finally the atmosphere was right.
Sho-ji:	Yeah.
Takahashi:	Waaa..
Sanma:	It felt like Takahashi was really in a love like that.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	How you said “I like you” was good..
Takahashi:	Uwaah..
Sanma:	Well then… Fujimoto, I’ll leave it to you.
Fujimoto:	Yes. Here I go. This is from “Red Eye”-san in Takaradzuka. (the city Takaradzuka, not the acting troupe)

Fujimoto: 「San-chan, make Minami’s dream come true. Please.」 (64′48”~)

• second it’s Fujimoto’s turn:

Fujimoto:	“San-chan, make Minami’s dream come true. Please.” (from the manga Touch) (04′42”)
Sanma:	What the heck was that?
Tamai:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	“Minami’s…”
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	I’ve never really told you that your voice resembles the voice of Tat-chan’s Minami, right?
Fujimoto:	I’ve never really tried it either. (lol)
Sanma:	(lol) In that case I’d rather want you to do it with Lum-chan’s voice. Try to say it with Lum-chan’s voice.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	How.. how should I say this?
Sanma:	Sa.. Eh? What was the phrase again?
Fujimoto:	“San-chan, make Minami’s dream come true. Please.”
Sanma:	Eh… “San-chan, make the dream.. come true… my dream.. San-chan.. this is no good! It’s no good if you don’t make my dream come true!”
Fujimoto:	“San-chan, it’s no good if you don’t make my dream come true!”
Tamai:	So you want her to say “no good” no matter what, huh?
Sanma:	Right, right. “This is no good!”
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	“San-chan! It’s no good if you don’t make my dream come true!“
Sanma:	Ah, right, right.
Takahashi:	It’s so similar!
Sanma:	Eh? We already said last week that their voices are similar.
Takahashi:	Ah..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	A fresh reaction.
Sanma:	How did the other one go? “Ossan“?
Fujimoto:	Ossan?! (lol) Setsuko’s?
Sanma:	(lol) “Grandma”? How did Setsuko’s go?
Fujimoto:	“Brother..”
Sanma:	That, that, that.
Fujimoto:	“Grandma” (lol)
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	(with Setsuko’s voice) “San-chan. Make Setsuko’s dream come true. Please.“
Sanma:	(lol) Ahh..
Takahashi:	So cute…
Sanma:	This voice is cute, right? Ahh, so Takahashi, don’t lose at the next one.
Takahashi:	Alright.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Yes, here we go.
Takahashi:	This is from Tomo-san from Miyagi prefecture.

Takahashi: 「I’ve made a mistake again! Ahh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!」 (66′10”~)

• the second round starts with Takahashi:

Takahashi:	“I failed again! Ahh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!” (06′04”)
Sanma:	Pff(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Staff:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Hmm? Isn’t it supposed to heal him?
Takahashi:	(lol) What the heck is this…
Fujimoto:	You made him laugh.
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	(lol) What the heck’s that? (lol)
Takahashi:	Eh?
Sanma:	What the heck’s that?
Takahashi:	Oh, I have no idea.
Sanma:	Try to say it one more time. One more time.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“I failed again. Ahh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!“
Fujimoto:	She’s hitting herself, hitting herself! (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	She can’t see herself, but still she calls herself stupid, stupid, stupid. (lol)
Sanma:	She often does it, I bet she often does it.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	She doesn’t want to, but I bet she often does it.
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sanma:	“Ai, you’re so stupid, stupid, stupid”
Takahashi:	“..stupid, stupid, stupid!”
Sanma:	Because she really is an idiot.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	Am I really one?
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	You are one, yeah.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	But..
Sanma:	I’m sorry to say that, but..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	What kind of situation is that?
Sho-ji:	That just now. What kind of situation did you imagine? That “stupid, stupid, stupid”.
Takahashi:	I made a mistake with my line.
Sho-ji:	Eh?
Sanma:	Ah? Eh?
Takahashi:	I often have practice for the musical and I sometimes make mistakes there, so I imagined that.
Sanma:	No, that’s no good. Isn’t this about cooking?
Takahashi:	Eh? Ah, that’s what this is about?
Sanma:	Of course.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	You’re trying your best to cook for the person you like, but it doesn’t seem to work out.
Takahashi:	Ah, that’s how it is..
Sanma:	Then you call yourself stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course that’s how it is.
Takahashi:	Ahh..
Sanma:	Like when you take a ladle out of your soup and have a taste and say “Ah, this is no good! It doesn’t taste right!”, you know?
Takahashi:	Mmm…
Sanma:	Yeah, yeah. I’m counting on you.
Takahashi:	Yes.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“I’ve failed again!“
Sanma:	You gotta take a taste from your ladle!
Takahashi:	Yes.
Staff:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Fujimoto:	He got angry at her in a normal way. (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	“A ladle” is..
Sho-ji:	A ladle.
Sanma:	A ladle.
Takahashi:	*slurp*
Sanma:	No, like this. *slurp*
Takahashi:	*slurp*
Sanma:	No, wrong. (lol) Are you kidding with me?
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Anything’s ok. Like *fuu-fuu* *slurp*
Takahashi:	*fuu-fuu* *slurp*
Sanma:	Ah, yeah. Like that. Like *slurp* “Ouch!”
Takahashi:	“Ouch!”
Sanma:	Right, do it like that.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	Embarrassing..
Takahashi:	*fuu-fuu* *slurp* “Ouch! Ahh, I’ve failed again. Ahhh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!“
Sanma:	Wrong, wait.. You don’t reflect on your failure, do you?
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sanma:	That’s why more like “Ah, I’ve failed again..”. More annoyed!
Takahashi:	Annoyed?
Sanma:	Of course! You’re cooking for the first time for the person you like. I’ve explained it to you many times, didn’t I?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Tamai:	(lol)
Takahashi:	You’re right.
Sanma:	Now hurry up.
Sho-ji:	What are you cooking?
Sanma:	What did you cook?
Takahashi:	Eh, stew…
Sho-ji:	Stew, huh?
Sanma:	Oh..
Staff:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol) You seem to agree with her.
Sanma:	What kind of stew?
Takahashi:	It’s beef.
Sanma:	Beef stew? (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Haa, you cooked some heavy stuff, huh?
Takahashi:	I don’t like it much if it isn’t heavy.
Sho-ji:	Ah, I see.
Sanma:	Here we go.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	*fuu-fuu* *slurp* “Ahh, I’ve failed again. Ahh, Ai, you’re stupid, stupid, stupid!“
Sanma:	(lol) Well, well, better, better.
Takahashi:	(lol) What do I do..
Sanma:	Poor Takahashi, you didn’t have any good phrases today, huh?
Takahashi:	Ah..
Sanma:	It’s because there were only poor phrases.
Takahashi:	I’m sorry. Yes.
Sanma:	Well, then put a proper end to this. Fujimoto, got it?
Fujimoto:	(lol) Yes. From Yamaguchi prefecture, huh? “Fafu ni-ru”-san.

Fujimoto: 「Hey.. I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.」 (69′14”~)

• last it’s Fujimoto’s turn:

Fujimoto:	“Hey.. I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.” (09′09”)
Sanma:	Ohh! Good!
Tamai:	Ohohoho..
Takahashi:	That was good, huh?
Sanma:	Well, she has to do it even better, but..
Fujimoto:	Eh~?!
Sanma:	Try to say it like you’re saying it close to his ear. Like after he said to you “Go home, it’s already past 10 pm.”.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	After he said that, ok?
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Yes, here we go. Say it like you’re whispering it into his ear.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	“Hey.. I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.“
Sanma:	More like..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	“I came here.”. It should be embarrassing for you, you know?
Fujimoto:	“I came here.”
Sanma.	Yeah, hurry up, one more tiime.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	“Hey.. I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.“
Sanma:	Ahh.. Not good..
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	“Hey..”
Takahashi:	Hihi(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Try to leave out the “Hey..”.
Fujimoto:	Ah, yes.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	“I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.“
Sanma:	Ah, that’s not it.
Fujimoto:	(lol) What would be good then?!
Sho-ji:	That’s why you better just go home for today.
Everyone:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Please just go home for today.
Fujimoto:	Ehhh~?!
Sanma:	Then try to imagine this. You’re sitting with him on a sofa and you’re sitting a bit far away. Because you’re too embarrassed to get closer to him. Right? Because it’s your first night together.
Fujimoto:	Our first night?!
Sanma:	Of course it’s your first night.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ok, here we go.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	“I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.“
Sanma:	Ah, right, right, right. That’s good.
Fujimoto:	Ohhh! I did it, I did it!
Sanma:	Takahashi, try to say this one.
Takahashi:	Eh?
Sanma:	That “I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.”.
Takahashi:	Ah..
Sanma:	In a cute way, ok?
Takahashi:	How should I say it?
Sanma:	What “how”? Didn’t you just listen?
Takahashi:	Close to his ear?
Sanma:	Ah, yes, close to his ear. (lol)
Tamai:	(lol)
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.“
Sanma:	Ohhh, Takahashi can do it, too!
Takahashi:	I did it!
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	Ohh!
Sanma:	Then kiss him on the cheek.
Takahashi:	Iiyeaa..
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	It’s the last time, yes. Here we go.
	(the music box plays)
Takahashi:	“I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.” *chu*
Sanma:	Ohohoho, good! (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sanma:	(lol) You did your best, you did your best, but it was exposed that you have no experience with kisses. Making a mouth like this. You can’t kiss anyone with a mouth like this! You know?
Fuji/Taka:	(lol)
Sanma:	Your mouth was like this. You were breathing in right now, right? Right?
Fuji/Taka:	(lol)
Sanma:	More like this. *chu*
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	Wrong, wrong. (lol) You’re not good at kissing, huh?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	*chu*
Takakashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	No, wrong. You’re breathing in.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	It looks like you’re chewing leaf tobacco!
Takahashi:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	Wrong! (lol) I told you not to breathe in.
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	I’m sorry. Ok, please go on.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Fujimoto, try to say it with this. *chu*
Fujimoto:	Why’s that?!
Sanma:	Just do it! Or I’ll get mad!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	Hyaaa~(lol)
Sanma:	OK, here we go. At the end add a kiss.
	(the music box plays)
Fujimoto:	(lol) Here I go.
Sanma:	Yeah.
Fujimoto:	“I told them that I’d stay over at a friend’s place and came here.” *chu*
Sanma:	Ohh..
Takahashi:	How cute, huh?
Sanma:	It’s cute! It’s totally different compared to yours!
Takahashi:	Really.
Sanma:	You’re always breathing in, right?
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	How was yours again?
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	Uwaa!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	Uwaa, scary. (lol) Yes. (lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Tamai:	Yes. (lol)
Takahashi:	Then, next corner please.
Tamai:	(reads out the mail address for this corner)

Karaoke Box 「Sanchama」 (73′02”)

• 「Mikitty no uta」 (parody of 「Doraemon no uta」 from the anime Doraemon) Takahashi sings it and Fujimoto does two impersonations
• [Takahashi] [Fujimoto]

Translation: (00′21”) Mikitty, you’re lucky, you can heal You can heal with your anime voice Everyone, everyone, everyone, thanks to Sanma-san The voice she used by chance was similar I want to hear Lum-chan’s voice.. “Darling, that’s not good!“ Good, good, good, Sanma-san’s favorite, Lum-chan’s voice She was born on the countryside in Hokkaido Where the highways are always clattering Even though she’s from Hokkaidou, she’s sensitive to cold She insists that there’s a Lawson near her home I want to hear Setsuko’s voice.. “San-chan, my tummy feels all weird“ Sanma-san, what on earth do you really want? Roma-ji: Mikitty ii na iyashitekureru ANIME no koe de iyashitekureru Minna minna minna Sanma-san no okage Tamatama hasshita koe ga niteta RAMU-chan no koe ga kikitai na “DA-RIN, suki daccha“ Ii ii ii Sanma-san ki ni iru RAMU-chan no koe Umare wa inaka Hokkaidou yo Kousokudouro wa itsumo garagara Dosanko na no ni samugariya-san RO-SON chikaku ni aru to iiharu Setsuko no koe ga kikitai na “San-chan, onaka pichipichi ya nen“ Sanma-san ittai nani wo motomeru no? (from Tomochi-san)

• the radio log below starts from when the song has ended

Sanma:	What a funny way to sing.. (02′11”)
Tamai:	Yaaaaaay!
Sho-ji:	Yaaay!
Sanma:	Takahashi, what a funny way to sing…
Takahashi:	Eh, is that so? But if I don’t do it like this, I can’t sing with a high pitched voice.
Sanma:	Ahh…
Takahashi:	Because I have a pretty.. low pitched voice.
Sanma:	Ah, you have a low pitched voice?
Takahashi:	Yes, when I’m singing.
Sanma:	Ah, when you’re singing such a song. And when you’re singing a normal song?
Takahashi:	Ehh?
Sanma:	How low is your voice then?
Takahashi:	Eh, how is it..
Sanma:	How low is it?
Takahashi:	I wonder how it is..
Sanma:	Doraemon. “Anna koto..”. Just now you sang it like “Anna koto..”
Takahashi:	(with a high pitched voice) “Anna koto ii na!”
Sanma:	Yeah. And if you sing normally?
Takahashi:	(with a medium pitched voice) “Mikitty ii..” (lol)
Sanma:	That was wrong. In such a moment you have to show us an even lower pitched voice. Got it?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Yeah..
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	We’re all expecting a low pitched voice, so you have to show us an even lower pitched one.
Takahashi:	(with a low pitched voice) “MI..”
Sanma:	Right, right.
Takahashi:	(with a low pitched voice) “..KITTY”
Tamai:	(lol)
Sanma:	Right, right. A lower one, ok?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	(second try) Your key was high just now.
Takahashi:	Yes, that’s right.
Sanma:	Do you have a low pitched voice?
Takahashi:	That’s right.
Sanma:	How was it just now?
Takahashi:	(with a high pitched voice) “Mikitty ii na..”
Sanma:	Yeah. And if you sing normally?
Takahashi:	(with a low pitched voice) “MIKITTY..”
Sanma:	(lol) That’s it, that.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Her face changed.
Sho-ji:	You have to sing a bit longer.
Sanma:	Right, actually.
Takahashi:	(with a low pitched voice) “MIKITTY II NA..”
Sho-ji:	Oh, good, good.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sho-ji:	About that long is good.
Takahashi:	Yes. I’ll do my best.
Fujimoto:	He even says “about that long”. (lol)
Sanma:	(lol) How did the other song go that you were singing the other day?
Takahashi:	Which one was it?
Sanma:	The one which suited your personality.
Fujimoto:	It was something by Takaradzuka.
Takahashi:	♪Iya yo otonashii okisaki nante♪
Sanma:	No, no, there was another one.
Takahashi:	Huh?
Fujimoto:	In a language like English..
Takahashi:	♪Vide ‘o mare quant’è bello!♪
Sanma:	That one! (lol)
Sho-ji:	Fufufu(lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	♪Spira tantu sentimento!♪
Sanma:	If I tell you, sing that one, ok?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Tamai:	Yes. “Kaere Sorento“.
Sanma:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Hahaha(lol)
Takahashi:	♪Ma nun me lassà!♪ (with echo)
Sanma:	(lol)
Fujimoto:	The echo.. (lol)
Sanma:	How did it go again?
Takahashi:	♪Vide ‘o mare quant’è bello!♪
Sanma:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	(lol) You’re good!
Takahashi:	Ehh, I’m not good!
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	Takahashi, you’re good!
Takahashi:	Which part..
Sanma:	Ehh.. As expected because you used to take lessons.
Tamai:	Right.
Takahashi:	That’s right.
Sanma:	Fujimoto, that voice of yours is cute.
Fujimoto:	Really?
Sanma:	Yeah..
Fujimoto:	Ohh!
Sanma:	You could work for animes.
Fujimoto:	Hmm..
Sanma:	I think you’ll be fine.
Fujimoto:	You think so?
Sanma:	Yeah. Your normal voice is like that, right?
Fujimoto:	Normally, my voice is like this.
Sanma:	Normally it’s like that, right? And when you imitate Lum-chan?
Fujimoto:	(with Lum-chan’s voice) Darling!
Sanma:	Ohh…
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	And Setsuko-san?
Fujimoto:	“Setsuko-san” (lol)
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol) You shouldn’t add a “-san”.
Sanma:	Setsuko-san.
Fujimoto:	(with Setsuko’s voice) Brother.. Setsuko’s tummy feels all weird..
Takahashi:	(trying to speak with Setsuko’s voice) Brother.. Setsuko..
Sanma:	No, you don’t have to do it too!
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	Don’t make a sound until I tell you to. Got it?
Takahashi:	(lol)
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	(lol) Yes. The end.
Takahashi:	Yes.

Ending (77′50”)

Sanma:	Well, from today on… Ehh.. These two won’t come here for some time.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh…
Fujimoto:	Will you miss us?
Sanma:	Well, we’ll probably miss you, but Shibata and Gomaki will be here, so…
Fujimoto:	What do you mean?
Sanma:	I mean Gomaki told me from the start that she likes me and so on.
Fujimoto:	Eh, Miki likes you too!
Takahashi:	Yeah.
Sanma:	Wrong, not “yeah”. You’re not Miki, you know?
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sho-ji:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	Before with the imitations too. You really have that bad habit of barging into everything.
Tamai:	Hahaha(lol)
Sanma:	You know? It doesn’t.. (lol) It doesn’t have anything to do with you, ok?
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	I’m talking with Miki-chan right now.
Sho-ji:	Because you’re Takahashi.
Sanma:	Takahashi.
Sho-ji:	You’re Takahashi Ai.
Takahashi:	You’re right. I’m not Katou either.
Sanma:	Like I said.. Umm.. Gomaki even said it on TV. “I want to be on TV with Sanma-san.” From a long time ago, you know?
Fujimoto:	Hmm..
Sanma:	And she also has more mature sex appeal than Fujimoto, you know?
Fujimoto:	No, I don’t know about that.
Sanma:	No, I mean Gotou.. with Gomaki you have the feeling that she might have a bit of experience with kissing and so on.
Fujimoto:	(lol) Ehhhh~ But I’ll definitely come back, so please wait for me. And at that time I’ll have more sex-appeal..
Sanma:	Ah, that’s right. That’s how it is.
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Sanma:	And Takahashi, before you come back, properly watch about three adult videos.
Fujimoto:	Please send them to us, ok?
Sanma:	Oh, if I send them to you, make sure you watch them.
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Got it? And please practice kissing as well.
Fujimoto:	We have to practice it? (lol)
Sanma:	You can practice it with anything. With an object or..
Takahashi:	Can I say something?
Sanma:	Wha.. What do you mean with “Can I say something?”!?
Takahashi:	Well, I thought if I don’t say anything it’d be a bit..
Sanma:	Eh?
Takahashi:	Nothing at all. (lol)
Sho-ji:	(lol)
Sanma:	Ah! You’re not talking because I told you to be silent..
Takahashi:	Ah, yes.
Sanma:	Ah, Takahashi, you’ll have a little break from now on.
Takahashi:	Yes.
Sanma:	Ehh.. We’ll probably miss you.
Takahashi:	You will?
Sanma:	Well, a bit, yeah.
Takahashi:	Ah, I’m glad.
Fujimoto:	Really? We two will miss you, you know?
Takahashi:	Right?
Sanma:	Ehh… Tamai will have Gomaki…
Fujimoto:	No, why is it always Gomaki, Gomaki?!
Sanma:	No, Tamai is always Gomaki, Gomaki, Gomaki..
Fujimoto:	No, no!
Takahashi:	Isn’t Sanma-san the one who’s saying that?
Fujimoto:	You’re just putting the blame on Tamai-san, but actually it’s you, Sanma-san! Definitely.
Takahashi:	Sanma-san is happy about that?
Sanma:	*chu*
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	(lol) No, wrong. That’s because you’re breathing in, you know?
Takahashi:	*chu*
Sanma:	Uwaaa… (lol) That looks bad..
Takahashi:	Does it really look that…
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	That looks really strange! Idiot! (lol)
Fujimoto:	(lol)
Sanma:	Ehh.. Well, well, do your best. Please do your best at your musical!
Fujimoto:	Yes.
Takahashi:	Yes, we’ll do my best.
Sanma:	Well then, this was Akashiya Sanma.
Tamai:	Tamai Kenji.
Sho-ji:	Murakami Sho-ji.
Fujimoto:	From Morning Musume, Fujimoto Miki and..
Takahashi:	Takahashi Ai!
Sanma:	Let’s meet next week again! Goodbye~!
Everyone:	Goodbye~!

• Ending song is The Eagles’ “Take it Easy”

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